Warrior, I am
by ObsidianSorrows
Summary: HIATUS. SquallYuffieCloud. All she wanted to do was protect her father. But was pretending to be a guy in the military the right way to go? And what happens when she starts to develop feelings for her partners?
1. A Disgrace

Warrior, I Am 

Chapter One: A Disgrace

Disclaimer: I own it. All mine. Mwhahaha! No. I'm kidding. I don't.

I decided to write this because the idea was burning my brain up. Ok, it's the basic story line of Mulan, with Yuffie being Mulan. I said basic story line because it's not going to follow the Disney movie exactly. The beginning (this chapter) will feel very familiar, but things will start to change later on. So I want to clear up (do I **have **to!) that I DO NOT own any of Mulan's story line, or any lines from the movie that might be referenced.

The title of the story is like a conviction—it basically summarizes what Yuffie is trying to prove to everyone. Despite that though, this story is mainly romance between Cloud, Yuffie, and Squall. Action won't be implemented into later on.

Read on and enjoy!

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_Fire burned high in the sky, smoke churning and writhing like a belly dancer. All around her people were running, screaming for their lives. Whatever their lives were worth anyways. The girl couldn't see past the wall of fire, but she knew that **his **men were chasing those people. Murdering without a cause was what they were doing._

"_You'd give your life up for those people you call your friends?" He bellowed to her, his long sword piercing her throat. He could kill her and they both knew it. "You'd sacrifice everything you had to make them happy?"_

_The girl stuck her chin up defiantly. She never did know when to keep her mouth shut. "I would."_

_The man was infuriated by her determination. "Then die a worthless death—!"_

—_a doodle doo!Cocka doodle—d_

The shrill caw of a rooster broke the morning silence of the soon-to-be-bustling town. Seeing barely any people inhabiting the streets, the bird ruffled it's feathers, raised it's regal head, and was about to let out another ear-piercing screech when a few rocks came flying at it's perch, scaring it. It crooned softly in irritation, scratched its claws on the tiled roof, and flew away. Somewhere inside the house, a small feminine figure let out a relieved sigh and turned over to go back to sleep. Conveniently, there was a pile of rocks at her bedside.

Yuffie had made it her duty to rid the people of the rooster each morning. She was being careful now though. She believed the creature was catching on, and the last thing she wanted was an aggravated and incensed cock to be attacking her in her sleep.

She flopped around in her bed some more; realizing dismally that the scratchy stuff at her feet was the remnants of her midnight snack. She kicked and twisted until she found her head solidly connecting with the wall. She grunted as a light lump of paper fell on her head. She glared at the calendar and threw it disinterestedly across the room. She lay back down, but something was nagging at her.

"Ugh, too much thinking in the morning," she moaned, putting the pillow over her head. That calendar just wouldn't go away. It was blaring in her mind like a large, yellow sign. _'Wasn't there something I had to do today?'_

She ran through the things that she had to do that week. '_Clean all the toilets, nag my dad, swoon over the mailboy…'_ She trailed off and bolted up in bed, covering her mouth with her hand. **Oh no.**

"DAD!" She screeched, tumbling into the kitchen like an acrobat. Her father sat calmly at the table, sipping a cup of tea. He glanced up as his panting daughter entered the room.

"Good morning Yuffie."

"DAD!" Yuffie wailed, throwing her arms up. "Where's mom! Don't you know what today is?" She grabbed a dinner roll from the breadbox and shoved it callously into her gaping mouth. "Iffph mafmafer's daiffh!" Chunks of bread flew everywhere. Her father put his hand up, eyes closed.

"Yuffie, please. You're spraying everywhere." He thought for a moment. "Your mother called a minute ago." Yuffie stopped blowing bread and paled considerably. "She said that if you weren't at your ma's shop in five minutes she'd hang you by your scrawny neck."

All of Yuffie's bread came flying out. Saliva dribbled down her chin. "She said that?" Yuffie demanded in disbelief. Godo, her father, tried not look at his daughter's horrendous oral cavity as he answered, "Yes."

"Ahh!" Yuffie was out the door screaming before Godo could even blink an eye. She ran to the stables at the back of her house, opening the first door available. She'd run downtown herself if she had more time.

The horse inside this stable was huge. He was one of her father's favorite, and he rarely obeyed anyone but Godo himself. He was a midnight black color and he eyed Yuffie contemptuously. When she reached for her he tried to rear back, but Yuffie was in too bad of a mood to fight with him.

She spat in his face.

"Come on, can't you go any faster, horse?" she demanded, even as the creature broke into a run. The spitting had done the trick and he had let Yuffie ride him. Horses could be ridden as long as they took the back route into town. That way, they traveled faster and didn't trample on people in the main streets.

She took the horse as far as she could and left him to graze in the back of the buildings. She walked stealthily into the alleyway next to her mother's shop, expecting to sneak into the side door without her mother noticing. Luck was not with her this particular morning though, and her mom had her by the ear the moment she stepped in the shop.

"Didn't think I'd predict that one, eh?" Her mother demanded, shaking her roughly. Yuffie whimpered and muttered "hag" beneath her breath.

"For heaven's sakes, where have you been?" Her mother fretted. "Just look at your hair!" She tugged her into her shop. Her mom owned a salon of sorts, where women went to pretty themselves up. Yuffie thought it was all a bunch of crap, but she never said that to her mother's face.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" she retorted. "If you cared that much, you would at least bring me with you!" She wanted to continue to rant, but screamed instead as her mother's friends came up to her and yanked down her pants and pulled up her shirt. She made shrill noises as she realized the door hadn't even been closed halfway yet. She cringed, trying to rid herself of the images of lewd men gawking at a half-naked teen.

"This is sooo embarrassing," she grumbled as she was pushed butt-naked into a tub. "You never told me people were going to strip me!"

"Honestly Yuffie," her mother chided. "Do you really think that I would be able to repair you by myself?"

"No but-" her head was forced under the water. A few seconds later she came back up, spitting and coughing. "Hey! I almost drowned! And what do you mean by 'repair'? What's wrong with me?"

Her mother didn't answer her, and it got her pretty steamed. There was nothing wrong with her! Right…?

So far, nobody had ever told her about any problems she had. All the boys she lived near seemed to perfectly accept who she was, but that was because someone told her she acted just like them. Of course she'd been told she was a bit too hyper, but wasn't everybody once in a while?

"Ahh!" she moaned as a gunk of smelly shampoo was put on her head. She didn't mind scented things, but this shampoo was so strong that it was making her nose hairs curl. It smelled like pure perfume instead of just a hair cleaner.

"Oh stop complaining. A boy doesn't want their wife to smell like horse dung."

"Oh ok, I so do not smell like stallion shit. Who said I was going to be a wife anyways? The guys will all reject me." She had long ago admitted that she was not the prettiest girl in town. Her only pride in her life was her waist long hair, which was a deep chestnut brown. She liked to wear it down sometimes because it made her feel more…feminine. Not that she really had anyone to impress.

"Not when I'm done with you they won't," her mother said with a crazy glint in her eye. Before Yuffie could even protest, she was forced under the water again, and after that, everything was a blur.

"There you go," her mother whispered in her ear after what felt like an hour. "You look like a goddess."

"Yeah right. Just kill me now." Yuffie groaned. Her mother tutted at her, and in response turned Yuffie around to face the body-length mirror. Yuffie's eyes almost fell out of her sockets.

The person in the mirror could not possibly be her. She was far too…_beautiful_ to ever be the scrawny little brat that she'd come to identify herself with. Maybe she was dreaming, because Yuffie was positive that she could never look any better than she already did.

"Hurry! You will be late soon!" And her mother ushered her out of the door, sending her along. "You know where to go."

"Unfortunately," Yuffie muttered, forgetting about her beautified state. She was being condemned to hell. No; matchmaking was worse than hell. It was—well, whatever is under hell, that's what matchmaking is.

As she walked to the matchmaker's house, she found that she sympathized mummies greatly. Her dress bound her up so tightly that she felt like she was wrapped in saran wrap. She stumbled several times and got her dress snagged on random objects. She fought the urge to look back at the hem of her dress because she was positive it was sporting new, haphazard editions (like a fishing line or someone's earring).

She made it to the matchmaker's house without any other obstacles. (Relatively.) By the time she came bursting into the room, there were already six couples sitting on small mats, conversing softly over cups of tea. She nervously watched how they stared at her. Why did she always have to be so damn late?

"And who must you be?"

Yuffie jumped at the booming voice, and turned to face a rotund woman that looked like the devil himself. She looked perfect. Her dress was perfectly aligned, not a cloth out of a place. Her nails were nicely manicured, and her hair was fixed into the tightest bun Yuffie had ever seen. She was surprised the woman's hair hadn't all fallen out yet. It looked painful; no wonder the lady was so grumpy.

"Kisaragi, Yuffie, I presume?" Yuffie gave a weak nod, reaching up to scratch her eye. She jumped in surprise as her hand was slapped away. "A lady never rubs her face when wearing makeup." She glanced at her slightly messed up lipstick and eyeliner. "But I see you've already done that. Come with me." She led Yuffie down the row of couples, coming to the last mat, where a man sat tolerantly. Yuffie blushed furiously when she realized that she'd made him wait for her.

"This is Jing Masao. Lucky for you, he knows the virtue of patience." She glared at Yuffie over her small spectacles, and slowly stalked away. Yuffie nodded awkwardly to the man who looked about four years older than her.

"Are you going to sit down?" he finally asked politely. Yuffie smiled weakly.

"I don't think I can," she glanced meaningfully down at her dress. "Can you help me?"

Jing let out a soft laugh. He tilted his head to the side and regarded her quietly. '_Now this isn't so bad,'_ Yuffie thought. '_He's not **that **bad looking..' _"As much as I would love to, the old hag would kill me if I got up from my seat."

"Oh, you too?" she asked sardonically, and forced herself into a sitting position. She grunted softly, flailing and nearly knocking the teapot into Jing's lap. "Sorry," she mumbled, feeling extremely embarrassed about her clumsiness. It was bad enough that she was late; being an inept elephant was even worse.

"It's ok. At least my lap is still here." He reached over and poured her some tea. "I didn't drink any of it. I don't really like the flavor."

"Does it have sugar?" She sighed when he shook his head. "Dang, I probably won't like it either." She glanced around. "Uhh…what are we supposed to do anyways?"

"Talk, I suppose. Something about testing our chemistry with each other."

"Oh…ok, who starts first then?" Yuffie reddened slightly as the man gave her a winning smile.

"I will, if you don't mind." Jing paused for a bit. "Well…"

Well, that wasn't so bad, Yuffie tried to reason with herself. It felt good to spill her feelings to someone for once. And Jing never once made fun of her for anything she said. He had a pretty colorful background himself. A father in the military, no mother to support him…she was surprised he was such a genial guy.

She was walking home with her high heels in her hand. The ground was dirty, but it was better than having her toes smushed into a tiny shoe.

Suddenly, she heard a flurry of 'clotting'. It sounded like a herd of horses. She muttered a few things and remembered sourly how, if her mother hadn't taken the horse back, she'd be home by now taking a bath. But then again, with the mutual feelings of dislike that the girl and horse shared, she probably would've ended up walking home all the same.

"Move, girl!" a voice yelled, and before she knew it she was laying on top of some crumbled bamboo cages in front of the fishing store. She rubbed the place where she'd been rudely shoved, glaring at all the soldiers on horses that were snickering (and hooting) and her.

"HEY! I'M TRYING TO WALK HERE!" She screamed, scrambling to her feet and waving her middle finger like a banner. Stuck-up bastards, always thinking they could have their just 'cuz they were in the damn navy. Or army, or whatever.

"Hey baby, why walk when you can ride with me?" a seedy man asked her from his vantage point on his horse. She had to admit the horse and him had similarities. They were both old, bony, and missing quite a few teeth.

"Yeah right pervert," she snapped, and tried to walk away as fast as she could with a dress. "I don't date old men!" She ran faster, not caring that her clothes were ripping at the bottom. The line had stopped and a man wearing a blue robe was making an announcement, and she wanted to hear.

"Sephiroth's troops have passed our walls. He wants to infiltrate our cities! We need all able men from every family—"

"Oh no," Yuffie whispered, picking up her dress. The men on horses were handing out forms and calling out family names. And two of them were heading to her parent's house. Oh no.

Hitching up her long dress, Yuffie ran as fast as she could back to her house. No one would have ever guessed that this speedy girl sat on the couch and ate doughnuts more than she exercised. Yuffie made it to the side of her house before the men were even halfway up to the front door. She burst inside and spotted her mother, who was standing outside looking very white.

"Mama, dad can't fight," she whispered quietly, clutching onto her arm. Her mother looked at her sadly. "He's too old, ma. He can't. Tell them he's too old." She was pleading this now. She hated how her father always tried to control her life, and she had some pretty vicious fights with him that ended in a 'whatever father' and a slamming of a door. But she still didn't want him to go to war! He was far too old to fight such an army, particularly if led by Sephiroth.

"I can't, Yuffie. We have no son, and he's too proud. He'll fight to his death."

"But mom! He has arthritis! He can barely move without it hurting! And he has gout. You know all they serve at the camps is liver!"

The men were at the door now. One of them wore a long red robe. The other had a cowboy's hat on so Yuffie couldn't see his face.

"Sorry to bother you ma'am, but is Godo at home today? We need to build up our ranks—"

Before Yuffie could stop herself she had shoved the man off his horse. His hat fell off and long, wavy brown hair fell everywhere. His eyes were wide as he stared into her face.

"Fuck you," she said with as much menace as she could and stomped away. She ran to the door of her house. Her father blocked her entrance, looking infuriated.

"Dad—" she tried, but he slapped her across the face. Yuffie's mouth opened and closed like a fish. Then—

"Fine. Fuck you too. Go die in some war for all I care."

Yuffie bolted inside the house, rivulets of tears coming down her face. She ran into the garden out back and collapsed on the grass beneath her favorite cherry tree. Her whole body heaved as she let everything out.

There went her big mouth again. She didn't want to condemn her dad like that. Right now, that was the last thing she wanted. She just lost her anger so quickly though. She was used to acting angry to hide up her embarrassment or pain.

"Yuffie?" The grass crinkled under someone's footsteps.

Yuffie froze. She sat up, glaring into the face of the man she had met before. She realized then what she must look like. Running eyeliner, smudged lipstick, and grass stuck to her wet face.

"Get out of here!" the girl snarled. "What are you doing here? Get out!"

Jing cleared his throat apologetically. "I'm sorry, dearest Yuffie, but your parents invited me. How are you?"

"I'm not ok," Yuffie snapped at him. Did he just "dearest" her? "And I want to be left alone."

"You know, my father had to go into the military when I was younger." He started to talk like he hadn't just heard her _subtle_ way to tell him to leave. "I really didn't want him to leave. I mean-well, the whole point is, I was acting just like you. Childishly."

Yuffie blanched. "I wasn't being c-"

"I mean, it's ok," he interrupted her, and it took all her will not to sock him. What was his problem? What happened to his soft nature? "But you just have to accept that your dad has to fight. I did. And my father's a great man now because he fought back then."

The distressed girl was pulled to her feet and into Jing's warm arms. It was a stalwart embrace, but only on Jing's side. Yuffie stood like a wet rag doll, too shocked to move. She didn't want to hug him back, no matter what happened. She would not hug this foreign man that was trying to force ideas into her head.

"It's all right," Jing murmured into her hair. "I'll protect you."

It was nice to hear that, Yuffie decided. Even if she didn't know him very well, and even if he just pissed her off, it was nice to hear that.

_Smoosh._

Good feelings gone. He was groping her butt!

"What're you doing?" Yuffie screeched, trying to shove him back. Jing was strong though, and before she knew it he was trying to force his tongue down her throat. "Geoffmee!" She writhed and struggled. She opened up her mouth wide and bit forcefully on his tongue. His response was only to hold her tighter. His right hand came up and painfully squeezed her left breast. Yuffie wanted to murder him right then and there.

Yuffie managed to secure her left foot to the ground. Using her other leg, she angrily kneed the aroused man in the groin. He doubled over and fell to the ground with a small gasp. Yuffie kicked him again in the stomach, just as her parents came running into the backyard.

"Yuffie Kisaragi! What are you doing?" Her mother bellowed at her. Again, she was slapped across the face. "I invited this young man over and you beat him up?"

"Don't blame her ma'am, I was a little too forward—" Jing began, but her mother interrupted him. Yuffie's eyes narrowed. That slick bastard—acting sincere to make her look worse. She could strangle his worthless throat—!

"No, Mr. Masao, please do not cover up my daughter's insolence. Yuffie, go to your room and behave yourself for **ONCE**! You are such a disgrace to this family…"

That's all Yuffie heard as she tore into the house and stomped into her room. Disgrace? **Disgrace?** She was going to show them. She'd show them all. There was no way she was going to let that slide. How could her parents trust some random, horny man over her? How could they hit her, when all she wanted was for her father to be safe?

Yuffie tore open her closet and began to throw myriads of clothes and accessories into a duffle bag she'd found in the closet. She packed sweaters and workout clothes and plenty of sports bras. She'd need it for where she was going.

The idea had come to her in a flash, and it shocked her. She was going to fight in her father's place. It was an insane idea, but was there anything better to do? She was killing practically…three birds with one stone! Her father would be safe, she'd prove to everyone she was worth something, and it was the ultimate revenge on her parents. Maybe now they'd see what happens when you put no faith in your children. She had always talked of running away, but now she was flying-fart serious.

She knew of the rules about the military. Absolutely no women allowed. She knew that; she didn't care. She packed hurriedly and then relaxed after a while. She wouldn't have to leave until tonight. Tonight. She'd eat dinner with her family, pretend like everything was ok, and then leave.

Just leave.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I'm sorry that I'm not how you wanted me to be. I guess that life never lets everything be perfect. I was the one imperfection you guys ever had. It's ok though; I'm going to fix that. I won't be at home for a while, and you will not find your military registration anywhere. I have taken father's clothes and his favorite horse. We all know that you can't tell anyone about this, so don't try to alert the officials. And I know that you can't come and get me without having me beheaded. So let me do this. I'll prove I'm not such a disgrace after all._

_Love, Yuffie_

As she mounted her father's horse she was crying. She hated feeling so wimpy, but she figured if there was anytime to cry, now was the best time to do it. It was in the middle of the night and there was no one to see her.

She had chopped off her beautiful hair. It sat unevenly by her chin when left down. She had tied it up into a bushy ponytail so that the ragged cutting job wasn't so noticeable. It would have to do until she found spare time to fix it.

She suspected that she would not have much "spare time" for a while.

"Goodbye," Yuffie whispered, closing the doors behind her. "Sleep well."

A/N: It's choppy, I know, but this was a bore to write. I almost wanted to just put, "Go watch the beginning of Mulan!" Because really, that's basically what this was.

Next chapter: Yuffie walks into camp for the first time and meets some colorful individuals…


	2. Are Men Always Grouchy?

Warrior, I Am 

Chapter 2: Are Men Always Grouchy?

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own three-fourths of the amazing characters and places in this. If it sucks, then I probably own it. 

A/N: After reading what everyone was saying, I have to put this before I begin. Maybe I sounded too DRASTIC when I said I was changing the story. Yes, I am changing it. I am going more in depth with the characters. Scenes are being taken away. But really, I am going to try to follow with what I originally planned. (The ambush of the camp, Sora's and Riku's falling apart, the finding out about Yuffie's secret, Jing's purpose eventually.) So don't worry. Events are being stretched out, so if the scene you really liked isn't happening just yet, don't worry. It might happen eventually, with just more filler and planning in it. Read!

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Yuffie, being sixteen years old (and full of ungodly wisdom), had figured out long ago that she was terrible with maps. Given a destination further than five blocks away, the young ninja was sure to find a way to lose herself. That particular reason was exactly why she was so dubious about stepping onto the campgrounds. Sure, it was the only human establishment around for **miles**, but her rationale was telling her otherwise.

Her ass of a horse had thrown her off his back miles ago. Not that it really matter though, she thought, since the horse didn't have a clue where to go either. She had walked to rest of the way, thinking that if a bear came and found her horse and gobbled it up, that'd be fine and dandy with her.

She had been scouting out the campground for nearly an hour. Her uneasiness had gotten the better of her and she couldn't find it in herself to step onto the grounds. She'd also tried various methods to make her look 'in'. Sadly, her methods so far had included spitting (all which had dripped onto her shirt), walking like she had a log up her bum, and practicing catch phrases that she'd prefer not to repeat.

"I can't do this!" she cried, falling to the floor. She started to bang her head on the dusty ground in frustration. How the hell did guys do it? If she had been born a man, she probably would've committed suicide way back.

Aside from her personality, she'd tried some more physical changes. She started to fret about the little stuff, and even considered rolling up one of her shirts and shoving it into her pants, just in case someone was checking for 'equipment'. That failed too though, as her shirts seemed to produce something that seemed too big or too small. Not that she knew the right size or anything!

Biting her lip, Yuffie inched her way toward the entrance. A big behemoth stood here, barking orders and spitting. Yuffie dawdled far on the other side of the wall, hoping he wouldn't notice her slip in.

"Hey you!" The big snarling man grabbed her by the name of her collar and nearly lifted her off the ground. She felt like she was going to suffocate with a lack of air and of the musty stench of the man in front of her.

"Yees," she choked out. She put on her best Oh-I-Didn't-See-You-There Look, smiling past her reddened face.

"Name." He hissed, lightly dabbling her with spittle.

"Kia—agi."

"The hell did you say!" Yuffie felt as if she needed an umbrella to stop the spitstorm she was receiving. She made a gasping sound and wrapped her hand around his puffy wrist. He understood and dropped her straight on her tailbone, making her yowl.

"That hur—"

"NAME!"

"Kisaragi!" She yelled back. The man checked something off the list and threw a giant bundle into her face. She fell backwards. More things fell on top of her and she just laid there, too shell-shocked to move.

"Assembly will start in an hour near High Noon. Get your ass over there before then."

Yuffie muttered a quick "yessir" and slowly unburied herself. Her coccyx was throbbing and so was her head. She picked up her tent supplies and the blankets and waddled into the camp.

The ninja made a note to stay away from that man, and wandered around with the huge and heavy bundle in her arms. She had no idea where High Noon was, and she had no watch to tell her when the thirty minutes were over. And, just to add to her misery, she had no flying pig's idea how to set up an effective tent.

'_Should I ask for help? Should I wander until somebody finds me?'_ The ninja was fighting a battle in her head. Asking for help showed weakness, but she didn't know what would happen for her if she didn't show up at this "High Noon" at the right time. She opted for the first one.

"Hey!" Her attempt to sound confident was lost when the man she called out turned on her. She had picked randomly, honestly, because she knew if she thought about it too much she would have chickened out. The man stalked toward her, easily towering over her by four, five inches. She looked up, trying to mask her cowardice.

"What." It most certainly wasn't a question. The man had dirty blonde hair and deep-set cerulean eyes mixed with green. The intensity of his gaze engulfed her like flames. She was inarticulate.

"I..I…" she stuttered, falling over her words. He was so close to her and so angry. She wanted nothing more than to hide in a corner now, and forget she ever encountered him. She could practically feel the aggravation searing off him in waves. "Nothing. Nothing."

His face inched closer to hers, and she turned scarlet red. She could smell him now and it was absolutely embarrassing. "It better be." And with that he stalked away, leaving a light hint of cologne behind him. She was about ready to faint.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, if just for his benefit. Good heavens, she had to wait for her stomach to crawl up from her toes. She stored his face away in her mind, along with the grouchy man who gave her the tent and clothes, and began to wander again.

It didn't take long for her to bump into somebody else unsavory. Not that she realized it at the time.

"Lost?" A young boy around her age smiled at her, waving. He had the largest, puppy-dog blue eyes she'd ever seen. His brown hair was a big cataclysmic mess, and he had a tender smile that could melt rocks. Despite what she told herself about trusting no one, she found herself smiling at him.

"Yes. Very much so. I just uh…" She deepened her voice. "Needa find this, uh, High Noon."

The boy laughed. It was a musical, tinkling sound. Why would anyone want to send such a beautiful boy to war?

"Over there," the brunette pointed straight ahead, where a bunch of tents lay. "Be there in about…ten minutes." He seemed unsure, as if he didn't even know himself.

"Oh thanks," she muttered softly, smiling cordially. '_Ten minutes? Are we supposed to be there early?'_ "Umm…" she ventured. "Do you know how to set up a tent?"

The boy scratched his head awkwardly. "Not very well. You'd be better off asking someone else." His hand went to her arm and she jolted. She was already used to the men abusing her and the gentle touch shocked her.

"How'd you get stuck here anyways?" she found herself asking.

The angel smile again. "I gotta go. See you later."

Before Yuffie could call back for him, he was walking away. Her heart sunk a little. She was alone again. She began to follow the directions she was given.

It didn't take her very long to get completely lost. She had walked in the direction that he'd told her to, but all she saw was rows and rows of tents. Where there weren't tents, trees and mountains blocked her visage. Where the hell was everybody?

She glanced around some more, noticing a very high wooden pole standing clear above camp. Wow. That's pretty high. She looked away without giving it a second thought.

"Crap," she muttered, finally realizing that the boy must've lied to her. She seethed silently, dumping her belongings to the ground. "This is f-ing impossible…" She sat on the ground and put her head in her hands, trying to think. She couldn't think of any worse time that she'd ever felt so humiliated.

"What are you doing?"

Yuffie nearly jumped out of her skin. The voice came right behind her. It sounded soft, muted, but powerful enough to make her sweat. Oh shoot.

"I'm lost," Yuffie admitted, dropping all pretenses. "I really don't know where I am." She turned on the man. He was extraordinarily tall with long black hair like a mermaid's. His eyes were a scorching red. Her mind instantly fled to a vampire. She desperately hoped he hadn't come to gobble her up.

"I will help you set up your tent," he said smoothly, holding out a hand. Or rather, a claw. She knew the shock was evident on her face, and worked speedily to erase it. She placed her rolled-up tent in his golden appendage with silent reverence. He took it without a word and began working on it.

"What about High Noon?" She asked after a minute, curiosity taking over her nervousness. The man didn't even glance at her when she said it. He was halfway done with her new home.

"It's no good walking into the middle of a lecture," he said simply, hammering the last nail into place. She wondered where he got the hammer from in the first place.

"Oh," she said simply, not wanting to press that answer. She was still waiting for him to grow fangs.

He finished up faster than she expected, tucking the hammer somewhere into the enclaves of his thick parka that she just noticed he was wearing. Seeing his coat made her remember how chilly it was outside. She shivered compulsively.

"I'll take you to the commander now," he said curtly, walking away as if expecting her to follow. She seriously debated on not following him, picturing his reaction when he turned around and she was nowhere to be found. Yuffie quickly ditched the idea though, realizing that her dry humor wasn't going to be taken well in this camp. Besides, she didn't picture this serious man to be very fond of comical acts. She sped behind him, just as he expected.

"You will address him as Sir or Commander, nothing more, nothing less. You may accompany those with his last name if you wish." He glanced back in warning as he said the last sentence. "And you never, **never** call him by his first name."

Yuffie gulped. This did not sound like a guy she wanted to mess with. Definitely a take-no-shit sort of guy. By then, her dry humor was buried six feet under ground. "Yes." She stared up at him. "Sir," she added, as if it was necessary. He didn't reply to that. She started to realize that maybe calling everyone "Sir" was the safe thing to do. She stored that away in her mind too.

Men were filing out of somewhere, she finally seemed to notice. Apparently she had missed this "High Noon" thing. As more men came piling out, she realized that "missed" was a severe understatement. She knew she should just keep her mouth shut, but she couldn't stop the next question from coming.

"When was I supposed to be at High Noon?" She couldn't tell if the vampire was amused or annoyed by this. She honestly hoped it was the former.

"An hour ago."

Ack. Very bad indeed. Her stomach felt oddly unsettled. The brunette wasn't the only one that lied to her. The man who gave her the tent lied too. She suddenly felt very vulnerable, stuck in a dog-eat-dog world, where she was the cat.

She was in such a daze that she didn't notice that good ol' vampy had led her to a tent much larger than the other ones. She could've mistaken it for a house altogether if it wasn't for the ropes and nails keeping it down. The man motioned for her to go inside. She obeyed him again, wondering when her mind was going to reclaim itself and let her act like a sensible human.

The man leaned in before he closed the flap behind her. "His name is Leonhart." She nodded numbly, and he disappeared.

As soon as she walked inside she felt like she was intruding. It was dim inside except for one lamp that sat on a sturdy black table, made of some kind of wood that she couldn't identify. There were two tables, actually, one cluttered with papers and maps and the other containing a man seated behind it, writing quietly with a pen. He didn't look up when she entered.

"Hello?" she ventured to say, but she was quickly shut up by the commander's quick reply.

"You do not speak until I address you."

Oh fuzz. This man was **definitely** take-no-shit. This wasn't going to be easy for her. She was known for mouthing off when she wasn't supposed to. She might as well just swallow her tongue whole right then and there.

Also, was she supposed to reply to that? She was getting a little confused. She remembered how vampire told her to always address him as "Sir", but then this guy just told her not to speak. So did she say "Yes, sir" or just stand there like an idiot (which was what she was doing now)?

"Why were you not at High Noon."

Not a question; a demand. What was it with men and just friggin asking _nicely_?

"I was lost, sir." She was trying to shoot for honesty. He couldn't condemn her for telling the truth, could he?

"If you're lost you ask for directions. Did the men all walking toward the same area have no significance to you?"

Apparently he could. She bit her lip. What did this guy have, a cactus shoved up his ass? She was seriously considering getting a map somehow…anything to avoid another run-in with the PMS-Avenger.

"I did, sir, but I was sent in the wrong direction. **Twice**," she added, venting a little. Angel face her ass. That boy was going to get his ass whooped. The commander looked up then. His eyes bore into her, and she had to wait for a few seconds for her heart to restart.

Blue eyes, just like so many other men she'd met. His were so common, yet so different at the same time. A deep navy, they held all the joy and excitement of a blank wall. Really, that's what his whole face looked like. His mouth was set in a straight, indifferent line, and his eyes looked bored and dull. Yuffie was fairly certain that if the world suddenly cracked open and monsters started crawling out of the deep crevasses of hell, this man would not even arch an eyebrow.

"You missed the opening remarks," Commander Leonhart continued, acting as if he hadn't completely noticed her gaping at him. A stay of dark brown hair fell across his face, and Yuffie had a nasty urge to swap it away. Why'd he have long hair anyways? It fell past his ears. Wasn't long hair supposed to signify being playful? Free? **_Easy_**? Judging from how strict he was, Yuffie half-expected him to be **bald**.

Yuffie also noticed how the commander said opening "remarks", not opening "ceremony". She should've predicted that. Ceremonies hinted at having **fun**. Unfortunately, "fun" was not a word that existed in Leonhart's vocabulary.

"You wake up at 0500 every morning," the commander began. Yuffie's mind scrambled to calculate that. Running on military time was not one of her hobbies. "You have twenty minutes to get ready and get down to High Noon." Whoa. Twenty minutes? That was going to call for some super-speedy-boob-binding on her part. "You will be trained for blah blah blah blah…"

Yuffie found herself spacing out as she stared at the Commander's face. She was tempted to label him attractive, but he had such a stick up his ass that it was nearly impossible for her to do it. She jumped when Leonhart cleared his throat. What…had he just said?

"You are assigned a partner for the duration of this camp," Leonhart said, folding his hands in front of him. "You are to monitor each other's progress. Above that, your partner will become your closest companion. If ever caught in a struggle, it is your job to protect your partner, and vice versa. You are, in no circumstance, to leave your partner completely open for attack. So…" At this Leonhart smirked, something that threw Yuffie off completely. "Consider yourself binded."

Oh yeah. Binded. '_I've always **dreamed **of being attached at the hip…oh boy….'_

"Your partner is waiting outside."

"Thank you, sir."

Yuffie bowed, feeling awkward as she did it. She glanced up one more time, but he wasn't looking at her. She felt a funny lurch at that. She turned away quickly, ignoring the way her heart was thudding a little too fast.

"One more thing."

Yuffie whirled around to face him again. "Yes sir?"

He surveyed her body evanescently before murmuring, "Get something thicker to wear." She nodded and fled the tent.

When she walked out her eyes did a double take.

**Oh no.**

It occurred to her then, as she stared into his penetrating green/blue eyes, that she had to have the absolute worst luck ever. Standing outside the tent with his arms crossed over his chest was the man from before. Not just _any _man though, because there were plenty of those. This was **THE **man. The blond from before that she had made a mistake of yelling at. Yes. Luck had definitely run off without her.

He was giving her a glare so stony that she felt her intestines do a flip. This guy had a ten-mile radius of unhappiness and she could see it in his eyes. Why was he so angry with her?

"Hi," Yuffie managed, awkwardly holding out her hand. She was sure she would be left standing there, but instead the blond clapped his hand into hers, squeezing hard enough to crush bone. She squeaked. "Hi," she managed again, but it sounded strained.

"Don't get in my way," was all he replied.

Oh, this was going to be a **very **loving relationship. She could already feel the fondness.

He walked toward the tent area and she followed behind. He seemed to know where he was going, so she kept silent for the duration of their trip. She clearly remembered his words. '_Don't get in my way_.' She wasn't planning on going against his wishes.

They arrived to their tents without any trouble, and she saw that he had set up his right next to hers. She had a small wistful smile at that, because somehow that told her that things were going to work out. She looked up at him…and then down. He was sitting in front of his tent, staring at her as if he could will her to do the same. She _did _do it, although she briefly entertained the thought of disobeying him, just as she had with the vampire. The result, again, was probably not going to be pretty.

They sat quietly for a while, listening to the wind and raucous laughter in the distance. It was still in the afternoon so it wasn't too chilly, but Yuffie was sure it would be freezing soon.

"What's your name?"

Yuffie looked up. The blonde's eyes had softened some, but his eyebrows were still pulled down in an annoyed look. She tried to dismiss his expression and concentrate on his eyes. Oh, for his eyes were some of the loveliest she'd ever seen….

"Yu-"

Eyes widened; they were Yuffie's. She bit her lip, putting her head down. She had almost slipped. Yuffie was a commonly used name that was also widely known to be female. She had actually met a few other Yuffies in her lifetime, and **none **of them were men. Walking around with a slight build and a female name was sure to arouse more than suspicion. Yes, she said _arouse_.

She wracked her brain for names. She had already said "Yu", so she had to follow up on that. Yuffie's heritage was filled with different forms of Asians, so she had plenty to choose from. Before she could say anything though, the man responded.

"Yu? Is that your name?"

Yuffie froze for a second, but then relaxed? Why not? It was such an obvious likening to her own, and yet she enjoyed hearing it. **Yu.** It felt so right. It was practically the same as "Yuf", so she'd have no trouble responding to it.

"Yes," she said confidently. "I'm Yu Kisaragi. And your name is…?"

The blonde seemed to be mulling over something. "Cloud Strife," he finally answered, shaking his head as if to dissuade himself from something. He fell silent after that.

"Why'd you join the military?"

Cloud frowned. "That doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," Yuffie prodded, starting to feeling annoyed with Cloud's awful behavior. She had spent, what, ten minutes with the guy? He was already grating on her nerves. She could see that Cloud seemed to have similar thoughts.

"Well I guess it's good for me then, because I don't care what matters to you."

Yuffie's hands balled into fists. "I thought we're supposed to get acquainted with each other."

"We are acquainted. I'm Cloud, you're Yu. End of story."

"Oh come on!" Yuffie said, exasperated. "What's up with you? This isn't going to work out if you act like an ass the whole time."

"I recognize you from somewhere."

Yuffie blanched. "Excuse me?" What was up with him? He had a natural talent from deviating from the main topic at hand, apparently.

"Or at least…someone who looks like you." He was muttering now. He shook his head again. "Do you have a sister?"

"No." Yuffie thought for a moment. "Yes."

"Which is it?"

"Yes, I do have a sister. Twin sister actually. We're really close. She's the brainy one. I'm more of the punch-n-go, ya know?" She laughed nervously, knowing full well that she was spewing endless upon endless miles of lies. She decided that lies were going to become very familiar to her over the next few months.

She looked up at the oddly handsome man before her.

Cloud was staring at her again. His glower was so bad that she almost spilled her guts to him and admitted she was making it all up. Really, it was that bad. She averted her gaze from his eyes and looked elsewhere…like his lips. She noticed that, ludicrously, his lip jutted out a little when he glared. It was…cute, surprisingly. She kept that to herself though, knowing that he probably wouldn't want to know that he pouted. When you tell a man he's pouting…well, talk about a big ego blow.

"I have a sister," she repeated firmly, just to confirm it in his mind. He seemed to be vacillating between the truth and her lie. Her hands had become sweaty by then, and her heart was palpitating wildly. She really, really did not want to get caught on the first day. Caught in the first **hour**, practically.

The young ninja risked a look around camp. Men were walking off to places, and she realized that it would be wise to tour the camp and get a feel for it. Oh, and figure out where the hell High Noon was.

"You know I was thinking…." Cloud began, glancing over at her. Yuffie's mind instantly strayed away from her thoughts. She focused solely on his words.

"Thinking what?"

"There's so many people…." He trailed off as if he expected her to pick up the pieces. She didn't.

"Yeah, there is. What's your point?"

"I'm sure the commander wouldn't notice if we just….traded partners."

Yuffie felt as if she'd been punched. She tried to hide up her hurt. He wanted to trade? He wanted to _get rid of her_? Why did that bother her so much? She was the one that was afraid of him, after all. But was she really that repulsive?

"If that's what you want…" she trailed off, refusing to look at him. For a few minutes Cloud didn't say anything to console her. Then-

"Hey, I was just-I was trying to-I don't want-" Cloud growled and rubbed his eyes.

Yuffie, never known for being one with much brains, didn't seem to get the hint. "What?" she asked dubiously, knowing she was treading on dangerous ground by acting dumb. Well…she wasn't really _acting_.

Cloud let out an irritated groan and stood up hastily. "Fuck…I just didn't want you to feel bad about being stuck with me, ok?" He folded his arms over his chest as if daring her to challenge his words.

Yuffie couldn't control herself. "Oh! That's so sweet!" She jumped up. Cloud's eyes became saucers when she wrapped her arms around him, a knee-jerk reaction for her whenever someone showed great courtesy to her.

"Ack!" Cloud's yell sounded like a choking baboon. "Get off!" He snarled, defensive and awkward. He cast his eyes around, noticing the stares he was getting. "Kisaragi! Unhand me goddammit! This isn't some gay farm!"

Her hands fell to her sides as if she'd been shocked. "Sorry," she whispered, over and over again. "Don't know what came over me…"

Cloud looked like he was going to unleash some inner fury. His shoulders tightened for a moment and he leaned over her, but then he let off. He sighed, shaking his head.

" S'all right," he said quietly, trying his best to sound gentle. "Just don't do it again."

"I promise," Yuffie nodded. There was NO WAY she'd ever make that mistake ever again.

* * *

A/N: Different, right? The reason I made Cloud so malevolent was because I needed there to be clearly defined personalities between Cloud and Squall. With the old version, I felt like I was writing the same person with different names. Neither of them had their own idiosyncrasies that made them, **_them_**. And besides, I felt like Cloud had that "angry" aura at the beginning of the Final Fantasy 7 game. Don't worry though; Cloud won't be so grouchy all the time.

Next chapter: Yuffie learns some little things about Cloud and Squall. But it's the little things that count right?


	3. The Big Pole

Warrior, I Am 

Chapter 3: The Big Pole

Disclaimer: I own nothing but hordes of creativity.

A trumpet resounded over the entire grounds at exactly five o'clock that morning. Roosters didn't travel to this part of the mountain because of the cold, so humans had to provide the wake up call. And as Yuffie listened to the blaring instrument, she couldn't help but admit that the rooster back at home was a hell of a lot better.

"Buzz off…" Yuffie moaned, rolling over in her sleeping bag. The nice thing about the rooster at home was that she could throw rocks at it. Or kill it. Killing Mr. Trumpet would result in her fanny being thrown in jail.

The instrument blared for a good ten minutes, by the end of which Yuffie was angrier than a dung beetle without dung. Who in tarnations had to energy to blow on a goddamn TRUMPET for ten full-blasted minutes? Damn them, whoever they were.

She dressed like a slug and crawled out of her tent like a dead woman. Men were walking past like zombies. Apparently she wasn't the only one that didn't appreciate being trumpeted awake. Maybe if a lot of people complained, they could start a Trumpet Revolt. All hail the roosters.

Cloud was not awake. She didn't notice that at first, what with her being all caught up with the irate trumpet-zombies. But now that she was sitting outside, waiting for Mr. Sunshine, her partner, she specifically noticed that he was still inside the tent. How did she know this? Because he was **snoring**. Like a dragon with a stuffy nose, it was so loud.

"Cloud!" She hissed several times. "CLOUD!" No sound of movement. Cautiously she pushed aside a flap of the tent, leaning inside.

Cloud slept on his stomach. All she could see was a big fuzzy yellow head. That, and the blanket was pulled down so that she could see his bare, tan back. Wowwie! Any lower and she might see his butt crack.

"Cloud!" she snapped, getting as close as she could without invading his privacy too much. "Cloud! You hibernating toad! Wake up!" He didn't budge. She moaned. "Impossible!"

She slipped herself completely into his tent, the flap closing behind her. She crawled next to him, kneeling near his head. She poked him once, testing to see if he would snap and attack her like a piranha. Nothing happened, so she carefully laid her hand onto his back. It was warm to the touch. Slowly, she began to shake him. No response. Putting both hands on him, she started to shake him as hard as she could.

SMACK!

* * *

Yuffie sat grumpily at the food table, refusing to look at Cloud. A large red mark in the shape of a hand painted the left side of her face. Cloud was eating some fruit quietly, not looking at Yuffie either. Although he wouldn't admit it out loud, he was filled with remorse for hitting her. He hadn't meant to do it; he hated being awoken by shaking and he had lashed out without considering who it was.

Yuffie was pissed off. He didn't even say sorry. All he did was shove her out of his tent without as much as a thank you.

_SMACK! _

"_Ah!" Yuffie yelled, falling back. She was clutching her face, looking deeply wounded._

_Cloud sat up and stared at her. She was looking back in shock. "What are you doing in here?" He glanced around. An odd sense of dread filled the pit of his stomach. "Get out!"_

"_I was wa—"_

"_Out!"_

They both walked to High Noon without speaking to each other. She was slightly thankful for him showing her the way, but she wasn't going to tell him that. She wasn't going to tell him anything until he said sorry.

As they walked into the crowd of men, they passed the commander on the way. She didn't expect him to recognize her, so she was surprised when he spoke to her.

"You still don't have that parka." He arched his eyebrows at her. He seemed to be in a better mood than yesterday.

"I don't know where to get it," she answered truthfully, aware that Cloud was waiting impatiently for her to finish talking.

Leonhart thought for a moment. "Come talk to me at the end of the day. I'll give you one." He walked away without another word. Also during those last words, Cloud had left her behind. His yellow hair was lost in the hubbub of the crowd. Knocking herself out of her stupor (she was going to see **him** alone!) she ran to look for her partner.

"Cloud!" she yelled, looking around. Panic started to take her over. She was an open target for manly attacks again.

"Cloud!" somebody mimicked behind her. She spun around, gasping. It was the angel-smile brunette! Her eyes narrowed. He was standing with a boy with shining silver hair. Just like the brunette, he was unnaturally attractive, but held less of the innocence that the brunette did. It didn't matter to her though; she had learned already that attractive guys were mean (Cloud), grumpy (Leonhart), or deceiving (everyone else in this damn hellhole).

"You—!" She snarled a little. "You got me lost—and—!"

"Hahaha!" The brunette laughed. "S'not my fault you're so gullible. Anyways, I heard you didn't show for the meeting yesterday." Every word he said held laughter in it.

Yuffie colored in anger. How the hell did he know that?

"Don't look so shit-faced," the silver-haired one said smoothly. "The man at the gate went around telling everyone he saw Vincent go and help you. Vincent only goes to help the terminally lost. Or stupid."

"He probably didn't mind being with Vincent," the brunette laughed, elbowing the silver-haired boy. "Gaying it up out there, huh?" He laughed some more. Yuffie wanted to tear out his voice box to stop him from laughing ever again.

"How queer are you anyway?" Mr. Silver was peering at her face. "You sure look like a chick…"

"Who the **_hell_** are **you**?" Yuffie bit her lip. That was Cloud's voice. He was standing right behind Yuffie. She could feel the heat of his chest searing through her back. An overwhelming sense of safety suddenly filled her. Cloud! Cloud!

The silver one glanced at Cloud and backed up a little. He looked about ready to answer Cloud with a few choice words, but the brunette beat him to it.

"The question is, who are _you_? No doubt this one's sweet anal lover—"

He was off the ground in seconds.

Cloud held the brunette close to his face, teeth clenched together in an angry grimace. "Fuck you, you little shit. Speak like that to me again and I'll strangle you with your own hair." Cloud dropped him, grabbed Yuffie by the collar, and dragged her along.

"Hey! I'm not some sort of cattle!" She trailed after him. He brought them up to the front, away from the circus twins. "It's your fault that I was left behind anyways," she muttered. Unfortunately, Cloud heard that.

"You're the one flirting with the commander!" He snapped, glaring at her. She glared back.

"I was not flirting! I'm a GUY," she said with as much dignity as she could muster. He gave her a look as if saying, '_like that ever stopped anyone before'_. He dropped the subject though when Leonhart came in front of the men with the man Yuffie recognized as Vincent. Another man stood on the left-hand side of the commander.

"I'm sorry."

Yuffie looked up at the blonde man next to her. He had averted his eyes, leaving her to gaze at his profile.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for hitting you. I didn't mean it."

"Oh." Yuffie bit her lip, a quirky smile trying to get to her lips. Despite his mood swings, Yuffie was starting to find Cloud quite entertaining. He was like an impulsive kid that did a bunch of bad stuff and then asked for forgiveness much later. She nodded to him and looked back at the commander. "It's fine…"

Meanwhile…

Leonheart surveyed the crowd, his eyes focusing in on one individual. '_Not **that** little brat again,'_ the commander thought. Already his head was going into migraine mode.

"Would you like to tell me what is so funny, Sora?" He demanded, singling out the giggling boy. He only remembered Sora's name because the boy gave him such a rough time the day before. Among other things, Sora had interrupted his speech twice because of the unrepressed farting sounds he had made throughout the duration of it all.

"Oh nothing. Just thinking of how I can come onto you later," Sora called back, winking at him. Leon narrowed his eyes as sniggers rang out in the background. Would that boy ever stop cracking jokes?

"For testing my patience, you have just volunteered yourself. Come here."

He got the satisfaction of seeing the alarm in the boy's eyes. The silver-haired boy beside him was cracking up like no tomorrow, giving him encouraging shoves and pokes to the ribs.

Sora made a big deal about going up to the commander. He would stop to give salutations to men and pretend to fake-cry while waving. "I assure you, it's all for my country!" He would say, patting a stranger's shoulder. Finally he made it up to Leonhart. Leonhart, personally, thought it was good of him to do so. Any longer and he might've shot the boy.

"So. What do I have to do to please you, Oh High And Mighty?"

Leonhart's eyes dilated into slits. "Climb up High Noon."

Sora actually laughed. "Dude," he began, not noticing how Leon flinched along with the absurd nickname. "I was born around trees taller than these. This'll be cake."

"Oh really," Leon said mildly, not believing a word of it. "Then do it."

"You got it pops." Sora walked snootily up to the large man-made pole, eying it arrogantly. Slipping off his shoes and socks, the brunette hitched himself onto the pole, wagging his bottom just to get a roar out of the men. Leon watched this calmly, nodding to Vincent. The vampire came over and laid a large silver box in his hands.

"You forgot something," the commander called out to him, and a low note of cynicism could be heard. He grabbed one of the boy's arms, causing Sora to have to let go of High Noon. Lifting up the mischievous teenager's wrist, Leon swiftly put a thick, maroon strap in his hands. Sora watched it with bored fascination, but let out a small whimper when his arm was nearly thrown to the ground from the golden weight that was attached to the strap.

"This," Leon said, easily holding up Sora's hand in his own, "represents valor." Leon walked to the other side, placing an identical weight in Sora's other hand, although this one looked larger. "And this represents strength."

"What the heck am I supposed to do with these?" Sora said, already trying to deny that he actually had to climb with them.

"Climb with them," Leon said simply. "But I'm not done yet."

Sora cried out as his Commander pulled the last odd shaped weight, holding it firmly in his hands. Sora could've sworn he saw the commander smile.

"Is that for my legs?"

"No."

Sora, having no limbs left to reference, glanced at his groin.

"Oh hell no, nuthin' is hanging from my precious."

Leon fought against the urge to actually force him to do just that. "This is just an extra." Leon placed it back in the box. He didn't really have to pull it out in the first place, but he got a kick out of scaring the kid. "Climb now."

"This is bad for my wrists," Sora started to say, stalling for time. "I mean, what if they just fall off?"

"Your wrists are not going to _just fall off_," Leon said, stepping toward him, and causing Sora to back up against the pole. Sora noticed how all the men were staring at him, and he quickly regained his composure.

"Yeah, jus' testing ya." He glanced up at the pole like it was nothing. "I'll be doing that now…" He swung onto it, visibly having much more difficulty than last time. He started to sing to get his mind off the pressure of gravity.

"Sora?" Leon called to him.

"Yes sir?"

"Shut up."

The boy clamped his mouth shut, and attempted to get up higher. Considering he was only a few feet off the ground, a distance he could easily close with his feet, was pretty degrading. Clenching his eyes shut, he managed to shimmy near about one-fourth of the pole, grunting the whole way. The men were cheering for him, but unfortunately, he was all out of gas. His arms went slack and he plummeted to earth, landing roughly on his backside. The weights from his hands came down and landed right onto his stomach, making him groan and curse.

Yuffie stared at what the commander had just made that boy do. A few minutes ago, he had to be the most arrogant and light-hearted person she'd ever met; now, he looked frustrated, angry, and in pain. She was starting to question if there was anything else inside of their Commander aside a computer and sand. He pointed at S-H-B and told him to do it next.

As Leonhart was attaching the weights to the S-H-B he said, "Your name."

"Riku, commander," Riku said, smiling satirically.

Leonhart nodded. "Climb," he ordered.

Meanwhile, Yuffie was standing up front, watching with abject horror. There was just no way she could do that. Not with weights. No sirree. Her muscles were comparable to a fly's. Yes, her father was a renowned martial artist, but that didn't mean she was. Her father had _tried_ to get her to learn (put her in a room and wouldn't let her out until she worked on her form), but she never practiced enough to be efficient. She never imagined she'd need to use any of those skills.

Ten minutes after Riku went up, he was on his ass. He shook his silver head, grappling with the weights. That was as hard as hell and he was pissed for not being able to do it. He thought if Sora could get one-fourth of the way up, he'd be able to get at least half way up. But no.

_'This is stupid,'_ Leon thought, watching Riku rub his sore arms and attempt to get the weights off. _'I wouldn't even be doing this if my goddamn father wasn't so adamant about making me this units commandant.' _Being the commander meant he had to explain things, and he hated to do that. As much as he would love to abandon the lot of morons in front of him, he knew they'd be dead meat if he did so. So, he was stuck looking after a bunch of kindergarteners. '_My father is coming to take over in a few days though…'_

He called up another random man, putting the weights on the buff male's wrists. It came out with the same results. That was how he proceeded for a while. By one in the afternoon, only half of the men had gone. He called a stop to it all, announcing that the rest would attempt it the next day. And the next. And the next.

Yuffie groaned. She was lucky enough that she was not picked. Not yet anyways. '_I have probably, one to two days to live. Then I'm going to die on the big wooden pole of death.'_ She watched Cloud out of the corner of her eye. He had not been picked either. He didn't look happy about it. She could tell that he was just itching to climb up the Terrible Tree. Personally, if she had the choice, she'd choose not to hump some wooden pole with big, giant quarters tied to her wrists. But that was just her.

After that they did some simple sparring, all of which she was terrible at. Cloud was patient in the beginning, but got annoyed near the end of the day. He got snappy with her and nearly gave up on her completely. She didn't blame him though. And when they had weapon's training, she couldn't load the cannon properly. She was iffy about holding a gun, and she couldn't figure out how to summon those supernatural magic elements—like doing magic tricks was going to help them in battle anyways.

By the end of the day she was pooped. In addition to her wrists, her forearms hurt from blocking Cloud so many times. Cloud had to be angry with _somebody_, what with the force he was hitting her with. She didn't have a problem with that though; she just wished that he wouldn't take it out on her.

When bath time came around she found someplace to be—her tent. It was easy to hide in there, tucked safely away under her blankets. She knew that she couldn't put off her own sanitation forever, but she was sure as hell going to try.

While the men were off at the lake (she knew they were there because of all the ruckus) she went and stole away some food. She ate quickly in the quiet of her own tent, returning the empty bowl back at the kitchen with a grateful smile. In respect to her odd eating habit, the chef did call her a female body part, but he didn't come after her. It wouldn't be until later that the same chef would be too tired to even talk.

She wasn't going to deny it; she was nervous about going to meet Leonhart. She didn't know how to really act around him. She wasn't sure if he found her as an annoyance or if he thought nothing of her at all. There was something else too, like how the bangs across his face combined with his deep eyes made him look poetically sad and pensive. And how his lips—

What was she saying? She'd only spoken to him twice, and spent an average of five minutes in his presence! "I'm losing it," Yuffie said, shaking.

Yuffie made it to the commander's tent without any big problems. There was no door to knock on, so she cleared her throat and called out awkwardly, "Commander?"

Some shuffling inside. She supposed that he was busy clearing away papers. Or hiding his dirty magazines. '_Not likely.'_ A _zippp_ sound was heard and she looked down. Why did the commander get to have a zipper to his tent? It was if she awoke every time a gust of wind flew into her tent. Maybe she could duck tape it…

Leonhart stepped out and eyed her steadily. He shook his head in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me…"

"What?" Yuffie said, alarmed. But then she bit her lip, remembering the "don't speak unless I speak first" rule.

He didn't rebuke her though. He just walked inside and motioned for her to follow. She did so obediently.

Inside it was warm. Light, a precious commodity in the camp, spilled out from the oil lantern on his desk. Papers on his desk looked forced into some haphazard pile. The other table perpendicular to the main one had a loaf of bread sitting on even more papers. The floor was covered with a red and yellow rug and the whole room smelled cozy.

She hadn't noticed everything the first time she was in here, but now she saw that he lived like a king compared to them!

"Do you somehow manage to lose one more article of clothing, or was that purposefully done?" Leonhart finally asked, glancing over his shoulder at her. He was standing in front of another tent flap, one that led into another "room".

Yuffie blanched for a moment. Then she remembered that she had taken off her long sleeve top, leaving her running around in just a normal t-shirt. She had been so worked up about coming to see him that she hadn't taken notice to the cold. Now that he reminded her though she started to shiver.

"That was an accident. Sir."

He shook his head as if she were a lunatic. '_Maybe I am,'_ she thought, staring a little too long at the commander's lower behind. '_Maybe I really am stark raving mad.'_

"Here," Squall said, holding out a thick fur parka. The hood was lined with thick white fur, and so were the ends of the sleeves. The color was a corduroy-looking tan. She began to notice then that this man was really into fur. Hey, he was wearing a fur jacket right now!

She almost laughed when she realized he was wearing a leather jacket rimmed with fur. A **leather **jacket rimmed with **fur**. For some reason it was so bizarre that so almost guffawed at him. By some divine might though she managed to stifle any chortles that she had. She worked up a I-Was-Not-Just-Laughing-At-You smile and let him drop the item into her hand. It weighed a substantial amount in terms of clothing.

"Thank you commander." She bowed, conscious not to go too low, lest he see her amazing hooters. '_If a size 36A constitutes anything amazing…'_

"I'm not the emperor, you know." Leonhart was staring at her again like she'd done something stupid. Maybe she had.

"I know, sir," she answered, dumbly. Yuffie bit her lip as he saw him arch his eyebrow in a comical way. Internally she sighed. Yuffie and rhetorical statements never did mix quite well. Why do you say it if it doesn't need to be answered?

Yuffie almost expected him to laugh at her. _Almost_. Instead his face grew somber and he nodded to her. "Good day." And he turned away from her. She took that as her signal to leave. She turned away, too quickly, and tripped on a lump in the rug. "Agh!" She mumbled, looking back. Her commander was still standing there, back turned and not moving at all. Blushing fiercely, Yuffie hurried out of his tent without another word.

Inside the tent, Leonhart looked back and smiled.

* * *

A/N: He smiled, but it was a **Squall **smile. So picture a really, really small one.

I'm enjoying this. I hope all of you are. It's fun writing about all three of them. I can't wait until everyone finds out about Squall's name so I can stop calling him Leonhart! Ah! Typing that every time is so irritating. It's really hard getting Yuffie and Squall to meet each other, too. It's easy for her to talk to Cloud, but Squall's duties as a leader make it a bitch to find situations for him. But Squall's daddy is coming to help soon…

Next chapter: "Climb up that pole, beeyatch!" And Squall starts to notice Cloud…so the rivalry begins!

P.S. Chapter 1 is revised. The beginning is a spoiler for what's to come.


	4. A Proposition

Warrior, I Am

Chapter 4: A proposition

Disclaimer: I own the guy who blows the trumpet every morning. I call him…Ewan Trumpletop

Teeny tiny author's note: For those of you that are reading this for the first time, YES, this story is following the plot of Mulan. I took that out of the first chapter without realizing it. Haha…I'm an airhead. Anyways, I'm making that public now so people won't be thinking I'm trying to _slyly_ copy the storyline without making it known. YuffieMulan. I just reposted the first chapter with that in for further reference.

* * *

_Dun dun dun dun dundundundun…._

Yuffie rolled over, groaning. '_Oh, how I bemoan my fate.'_ The sixteen-year-old sat up in her tent, the blanket falling to her waist. She wore a baggy shirt and black pajama pants. Her arms were literally purple and she felt like hell. The trumpet bellowed in the distance, ruining any happy morning feelings she might've had.

Day two of training.

Yuffie pulled off her baggy shirt and found a sport's bra. She covered the bra with a spandex tank top. Over that came her white t-shirt and baggy military pants that she had been provided with. She had figured out already that binding her boobs with duct tape was a painful experience that she wasn't fond of repeating. A bra and a tank top were good enough to hide her dwarf breasts well enough.

As she pulled on the thick pants, she noticed that she had dark bruises on her legs. Damn it, Cloud had kicked her too hard! He wasn't going to get away with that one. He had left all sorts of black and blue contusions on her body. Oh no, she was going to henpeck him all right.

"Before any of that though…" she muttered, climbing outside of the tent. "I have to wake him up without getting slapped."

Unfortunately she had not brought up Cloud's sleeping hazards with him the night before. Now, standing outside his tent, she sorely wished she had. She had no wish to ever repeat what had happened yesterday morning. If it was going to be like this every morning…'_I'm sorry toots, but I'm leaving you!'_

"Cloud!" She yelled. "CLOUD!" She bellowed at the top of her lungs. He didn't wake up. Good heavens, what were his ears made of? Did he clog his ears with wax before he went to bed? Did he enter some sort of trance when he slept? He heard perfectly fine when he was awake, but asleep he was similar to an over wintered bear.

"I'm not going into your tent again," Yuffie said, more to herself than to him. She had to think of _something_. She glanced at her watch. Ack! They had twelve minutes to eat breakfast now. Oh crud. Do something Yuf!

Filled with resolve, Yuffie carefully bent down in front of Cloud's tent and slipped her hand inside. Her cold hand found the outline of Cloud's feet beneath his blanket. Still sitting outside the tent, Yuffie used both of her hands to untangle the blanket and reach under it. She firmly grasped the blonde's ankles.

"Please don't hate me for this," Yuffie muttered. She closed her eyes and tugged as hard as she could.

A deep growl was heard, and then—

_POW!

* * *

_

­­­­­­­­­­ "Yu—"

"Don't talk to me."

Cloud glowered at the back of her head. "Brat," he muttered under his breath. They were standing at High Noon, waiting for the commander to give out instructions. This was only fifteen minutes after Yuffie had dragged Cloud out of his tent. She really, literally, had tugged him out. Was it his fault that he got a little pissed? So yeah, Cloud _had _kicked Yuffie in the stomach. In his defense though, he **was **half-asleep, and when he was hauled out, a twig had poked his nipple. And that hurt.

So they were back to where they were last morning. Once again Cloud had lashed out, and now he was _suppose_ to apologize. He was never one to be very empathetic though, and he didn't see why he was the one that had to apologize. It was her fault for tugging him out of his tent. It was…rude.

Yuffie, meanwhile, refused to look at him, as stubborn as she'd ever been. In addition to her myriad of bruises, she had a foot shaped one on her stomach that was throbbing. So for all she cared, Cloud could go rot in a bush.

"It was an accident, all right?" Cloud finally admitted. Why did she have to ignore him? '_Pisses me off how he won't talk to me…'_ His head was starting to hurt. He felt like an idiot. He had never met anyone that made him feel so guilty. Why did he always have to screw everything up?

"No it's not all right! It's like you're drugged or something!" Yuffie snapped, angry that Cloud wasn't being kinder to her. Why'd he always have to be a jackass?

Cloud's expression became gloomy. Surely she had no idea what she was talking about.

"Maybe I am drugged," he whispered, and Yuffie turned her head a little.

"What did you say? I didn't hear—"

"Stand at attention!" A man's voice roared over the crowd. The chatter slowly winded down to nothing. The man who had bellowed was the same one from before, the one on the other side of the commander. He had a long red robe and a scar over one eye. His hair was streaked with gray, and in Yuffie's opinion, he needed to shave.

Yuffie all but forgot about Cloud as she focused her attention on the commanding officer. He looked robust this morning, maybe more so than the last. She did not know the reason for that, and she figured that she never would.

"Wright, Adam."

Vincent was calling out the names for the High Noon exercise today. Yuffie felt a familiar twist in her gut. Her argument with Cloud shrunk in comparison to her fear. She was terrified of climbing that pole and anyone could see it on her face. She had upper arm strength, but nothing significant. She didn't even know how to get up it properly; she doubted anyone knew. She'd seen guys use their arms, nails, and even teeth. Nothing got them halfway up the behemoth toothpick. And as she watched Adam Wright give up within seconds, Yuffie decided it would be a miracle if she got herself a foot off the ground.

Cloud didn't look distressed about the workout, as usual. He stood there, staring at the ground. He seemed very depressed to Yuffie, but she couldn't bring herself to talk to him at the moment. Her stomach wound (and his snarky attitude earlier) kept all her sympathies for him at bay. Why would Cloud be depressed anyways? Maybe he was just formulating ways of killing her while cleverly _looking _like he was some sad pup. Farfetched, but it was possible, right?

"Rhea, Lionel."

Another man. Yuffie's hands got sweatier by the second! Why couldn't they just go in alphabetical order? Or better yet, wimpy order? The skinny, weak ones went first, and the strong, athletic men went last. That way, the shrimpy ones didn't have to live up to anything (because they had already done it). She knew if that were the case though, she would've been the first one up.

"I can't do this," Yuffie whispered to herself, wringing her hands. Her heart was thudding faster. She was going to have a panic attack! A seizure! Good heavens, save me from myself!

"Cloud!" Yuffie whispered in a strangled voice. The aforementioned man slowly lifted his head and glared softly at her.

"Wha—"

"I can't do this," Yuffie interrupted him, sounding terribly urgent. Cloud made a What-The-Hell face and frowned deeply at her.

"What do you mean," Cloud muttered slowly to her. "You haven't even been called—"

"I know!" Yuffie cut in again. "I know. But I mean…I can't climb that thing. Really, I can't. I have no arm strength. See?" She punched him in the arm. Cloud blinked at her for a few seconds and then stared at the ground again. His shoulders slouched even more. Yuffie groaned internally. Right now, she did not need her partner to be wallowing in self-pity!

"_Pmmhh."_

Cloud's shoulder's were shaking slightly.

"What?" Yuffie demanded, almost hysterical. Was he choking or something? She listened more….and felt like she had been kicked—again—in the gut. She could not believe this. She absolutely could not believe it. Cloud, possibly the most asinine and rude man in the world, was laughing at her. "This is not funny! Stop laughing!"

Cloud stood up straight then, and Yuffie was cowed for a moment. He wasn't the tallest among all of the men but he definitely made her look small in comparison. Yuffie huffed at him and subject him to one of her worst glares.

"You punch like a little girl," Cloud said to her, a small, twisted smile on his face. Yuffie's mouth could've dropped to the ground. He—him—this guy—was making fun of her! (It didn't matter that the insult was true!) In her moment of panic and woe! And he was laughing at her! She could throttle him!

"You'll do fine," Cloud muttered, composing himself in the blink of an eye. Yuffie wanted to bowl this guy over with a barrage of insults, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her mouth had a stopper in it. All she could do was glower helplessly at the man next to her.

His smile and laugh, as small as they were, had done it. He had chortled mercilessly at her panic and been a terrible person to her, but somehow his laugh and subtle encouragement made up for it. He was a mean butt hole, but she was starting to see that there was some sun shining out of the butt hole.

As hard as it is to believe…

"Kisaragi, Godo."

**No. **"No!" Yuffie wailed softly. If her heart had been pounding fast before, it was now exploding like a grandiose fireworks show. She wasn't going to do it. She'd pretend to faint and die. She WAS going to die if she climbed up the pole. She was working herself into a frenzy and she wanted to cry.

She had an iron grip on Cloud's bicep before she knew what she was doing. She pressed her face into his sleeve and inhaled the masculine scent of him. She clung desperately to him and even forgave him silently in her mind about that morning. Anything, as long as he didn't force her to go up there.

"Yu, for fuck's sake," Cloud said, exasperated. "Just do it and get it over with." Cloud wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not, but with his arm being held tightly to Yu's chest, he could've sworn that he felt two small lumps there. Like _breasts_. '_I must be imagining that one…'_

"You idiot, let go." Cloud was trying to pry Yuffie from his arm, with little success. She just wouldn't let go! He wasn't sure why, but the more Yuffie hung onto him, the hotter his cheeks got. He figured it must be because of the sun; it was unnaturally sunny this morning.

He couldn't actually be _blushing_. He wasn't capable of such a thing.

Yuffie was grappling with Cloud now, somehow managing to still hang onto his arm at the same time. Her whole body was an apex of fear. She figured that maybe Leonhart would assume she was dead or something and go to the next person if she took long enough.

Cloud though, having figured out that she was not going to let him go, had begun to drag her to the front. She was digging her nails into his skin and he was staring straight ahead, tugging her along like she was weightless. Men started to turn their heads a little as they noticed the odd spectacle.

"I swear Kisaragi, you're getting on my nerves now," Cloud muttered, but he couldn't bring himself to throw her off. Even though guys were smiling lewdly at him (he knew that Yu and him were in an awkward position) he just couldn't yell at his partner. It was obvious that Yu had some irrational fear about doing this. So he let Yuffie latch herself to him like a second skin, ignoring all the catcalls and dirty sodomy-related comments he was receiving.

"What the hell," the commander muttered, when he finally noticed the reason why Kisaragi was taking so long to get up there. The hell was that boy doing? He was clinging to some blonde man like a parasite. Leonhart actually considered forcing both of them to climb up the pole at the same time, but then the blonde man literally threw Kisaragi out toward him. The commander held back a humorous expression. Kisaragi—that kid really was something else.

Yuffie gave Cloud the finger as she walked up to the commander. That cockhead. He had given her some false sense of security, and then dropped her on her ass in front of everybody. She wasn't going to talk to him ever again—and she meant it this time!

She walked gracelessly up to her commander. Most of the men talked while each guy went up the pole, but because of the display she had just caused, most of them had quieted down to watch her. Which sucked really badly, because she knew that she was going to do horrendously.

"You're name's not Godo, is it." Her commander said smoothly to her. Yuffie shook her head.

"No. No. Me—I….I am Yu." Yuffie was babbling like an idiot. She still couldn't believe that Cloud had thrown her out here! Left her for the vultures is what is he did. She was so nervous she couldn't even talk straight.

The big pole loomed above her ominously.

"Yu." Her officer stared at her quietly. She looked cautiously back at him. She was blushing fiercely at her inability to speak. She was blushing a lot lately, actually. She was just hoping that Leonhart—and the other men—didn't notice it too much.

"Who was that man you were clinging to?"

Yuffie's face became red hot now. Oh geez, talk about an uncomfortable subject. Her commander, with his riveting eyes and cold stare, was the last person she wanted to talk to about her little "incident" with Cloud. She knew that she couldn't deny him an answer though. She didn't know him very well, but she was sure that some punishment would ensue if she 'dissed' him.

"My patner. Partner!" She corrected herself with a furious blush (as if she could get any redder). Ever second that ticked by she embarrassed herself even more. And of course the frosting on her big Embarrassment Cake was to climb up High Noon.

"And why were you clinging to him?" Leonhart had put aside his formalities. Now he was just asking out of curiosity. In all his years of being a leader, he had never seen one man adhere so stalwartly to another like that. Of course he knew the politically correct term for _incidents _between two men, but he couldn't just peg Kisaragi as one. After all, maybe Yu didn't like heights or something.

"I don't know." Ok, so she was being a chubby liar; she couldn't tell him the truth! He'd kick her out of the camp for sure. She could already hear the charge. '_Expelled on grounds of being a big, wimpy chicken face.'_ Oh geez. If her father thought she was disgraceful **then**, he should see her now. He'd be soon rolling in his grave if he did.

Leonhart had moved close to her without her realizing it. "You don't know?" He whispered. His breath was warm, and he was so close that he could brush the ends of his hair against her face. What was he doing? '_Is he allowed to be this close?'_ Yuffie wondered. '_Why **is **he this close anyways? People are watching!'_

And people _were _watching….especially one person in particular.

"I send him up there only to flirt with that jackass again. What a fruit. Fuck. I don't care what he does…"

Cloud was angry and he didn't know why. All he could do was glare condemningly at a man he'd never even spoken to.

Why _was _he so angry?

"S—sir…" Yuffie stuttered, looking up. Leonhart's eyes were so emotionless that it was hard to believe he was human. He just stared at her face, breathing quietly through his nose. Finally he said, "Climb."

Ope. She was hoping he wouldn't say that. She stepped back, rid of his glorious presence. Being that close to him made her terribly nervous. It was nothing like being with Cloud. With Cloud, she felt like she could loosen up and act a little normal. He was _almost_ like a close friend. But Leonhart was different. Every second with him sent her into an odd array of emotions that she was unfamiliar with. If Cloud made her feel calm, then Leonhart made her feel crazy-giddy. She just didn't know what to do.

Vincent helped her with the weights. She was grateful for a familiar face, even if this face could possibly the last thing she saw. The vampire nearly seemed sympathetic for her situation, and gave her shoulder an almost paternal pat before pushing her toward the pole.

"Good luck kid."

Choked down with rabbit feet and four-leaf clovers, she'd still have the worst luck in the world. Yuffie still nodded her head though, even if it was just to show she appreciated the attempt. It wasn't everyday a vampire wished you good luck.

The pole was laughing at her, Yuffie was certain. If it had a mouth, this big ugly toothpick would surely roar and cackle at her predicament. It would say, "Climb up me, beeyatch! And die!" Yuffie felt as if that's what it was saying now. Slowly, she placed her hands on it. It was smooth but not polished. It was a light tan color and it was about a foot and a half wide. She didn't want to guess how tall it was.

Well, here goes.

"Urk!" Yuffie grunted, right as her feet left the ground. She was hugging the pole like you would do to your fat aunt. The weights hung limply from her wrists. She couldn't move any higher. How was she supposed to? It just wasn't natural for people to shimmy up heights without anything to hang on to. She was a friggin' foot off the ground.

She was going to give up (after a minute on the pole) but then…

Ah! Leonhart was standing right next to her! With him so close, she began to worry whether or not her undies were showing out above her now-drooping fanny. She was sure men didn't wear teddy-bear underwear. "Are you going to climb?" He said to her.

Yuffie wanted to slap him. Stupid man and his redundant questions. What did he **think **the answer to that question was? It's not like she was just hanging around because she wanted to. She was annoyed and mortified and she snapped at him, "Why don't you give me a boost?"

She thought he was going to kick her out for that comment, but instead he surprised her. Again. "I will if you give me back my parka."

Yuffie blanched.

UGH! Goddamn him! '_Bastard,'_ she thought viciously, because she very well couldn't say that to him out loud. He had just pulled a Cloud on her. And she thought he was different. If he wasn't so hot she'd pray for him to burn in hell.

"I don't need that parka," Yuffie reasoned to him. He was **right there**, completely able to help her. All he had to do was put a hand on her ass and push her up. Hey, it was a win-win situation. She would get two whole feet off the ground, and he'd get to cop a feel—for free! Not to mention he'd get his comfy, nice-smelling jacket back.

"Yes you do," Leonhart conceded. "But I see you're not even wearing it now." Yuffie grunted. Did he not remember she was still clinging to the pole? "Try not to get sick, Kisaragi. Training won't stop because you have a runny nose."

And with that Yuffie let go of the pole. Her arms had been hurting for a while, and his talk distracted her so much that she just released her hold. She fell to the ground with a quiet thump. Some men cheered for her and she couldn't help but smiling a little, even if she did the worst out of all of them.

"Yes sir," she said. She stood up (a little wobbly) and sauntered back to the crowd. She had enough dignity not to look back at her commander. She wasn't sure if it was dignity, not embarrassment, that kept her from looking at him though.

Where the heck was Cloud? Darn it, he had wandered away from her again. She wished that he would just stay in one place while she did things. She was starting to think that attaching a beeper to his ass wouldn't be a bad idea.

"Strife, Cloud."

A figure moved right next to her. "Oh shoot, there you are." Yuffie muttered. Cloud looked at her for a moment, and she smiled uncomfortably. "Good luck."

Cloud nodded and walked to the front. He was almost there when he turned around and said, completely serious, "If I get halfway up, you have to give me your dinner."

Yuffie's mouth dropped open a little. What a cocky nutmeg. She'd sell her soul to see **anyone** get up that thing halfway. Why would he want her dinner anyways? It's not like hers was any better than what he had…

"Are you Strife?" Leonhart asked as Cloud came up to him. Cloud nodded in assent. His eyes, stony and serious, could've mirrored the commander's. "Are you…Kisaragi's partner?"

Something inside Cloud twitched with agitation. Why was he asking that? Why the **hell** did it matter to this guy? '_Why does it matter to me?'_

"That doesn't really matter," Cloud said, trying hard not to sneer. This guy was getting on his nerves.

Apparently Leonhart was thinking the same thing. "I would watch your tongue, Strife." '_Especially if you can't even get your blonde ass up this pole.'_

"I'll remember that in the future," Cloud said curtly. He was an animal wrangling his shackles. There was something about this guy that really got him fired up. And when he was talking to Yu…ugh. Cloud wanted to punch him in the gut.

"Climb, Strife." That was a definite order.

Cloud didn't need to be told twice. While Cloud and Leonhart were having their snappy conversation, Vincent had strapped Cloud up with the weights. Right at his command, Cloud wrapped his arms around the pole and hoisted himself up. And sure enough, he started to climb.

"Holy cow, he's **really **doing it," Yuffie muttered, a hand held over her mouth in shock. It seemed like he was completely relying on his upper arms. He looked like he was straining, but not enough so that he had to stop completely. He just kept going and going…

Oh crap.

'_There goes my dinner.'_

Cloud wasn't really sure how high up he was. It was easy to climb without looking down. Being at the halfway point though, Cloud's arms were achy and tired. Honestly, he wanted to go further, but he wasn't sure he could. He had already proved his point anyways. He'd shown that asshole Leonhart that he **could **climb, and furthermore, he'd just snagged a free dinner.

Cloud slid himself down the pole, landing unsteadily onto his feet. He turned to his commander and couldn't hold back a smirk. Without even waiting for a comment, Cloud walked back to Yuffie, who was gaping like a dying fish.

"I hope you're not hungry," Cloud muttered, still smirking. Yuffie's expression became indignant.

"You-I-but—not fair!"

Yuffie trailed after Cloud, who had decided to get right up front. Cloud wanted to be right where Leonhart could see him. Right smack-dab in front of his damn face so he could see Cloud and Yuffie together. The blonde wasn't trying to rationalize any of it. He wasn't willing yet to admit that he **greatly** disliked the special attention that Leonhart showered on Yuffie. All Cloud was thinking was that Yu was **his** partner. Not anyone else's. And it served Leonhart right that he should realize that.

Yuffie though, not being the brightest little light bulb, did not recognize that very obvious fact. To her, Cloud had dragged her up front so he could show off in front of everybody. Say, "hey look, I'm the cool dude that got up that pole, and here's my crappy partner." She hated to admit it, but it was certainly what she would do had she gotten that far up. She could almost imagine Cloud and her switching roles. She, the stunningly athletic one, and Cloud, the weak, sad little puppy. She imagine her patting him on the head and boasting, "Don't worry, honey, I'll protect you." Then she'd go and kick an army of bad guy ass. And Cloud would **love **her. And she would catch Leonhart's eye…

How likely was _that _going to happen? Maybe, oh, one in a trillion.

"I'm not giving you my dinner," Yuffie said stubbornly. "I never even agreed to it…"

"That doesn't matter," Cloud said, smirking. "It's in the contract rule book."

Ok, he made that up. And he knew he was being a jackass. But they were interacting, which is what he wanted. He knew that Leonhart was watching them.

"The _rule book_?" Yuffie hissed at him in disbelief. "**Rule book!** You jerk!" She snapped. "You're not having my dinner, Strife." She glared sideways at him and added as an afterthought, "I hate you."

Those words got Cloud for some reason. He stared at her for a moment, mouth agape as if he was going to snap at her. He was vacillating between becoming irate and withdrawing completely. He knew that if he snapped at her he'd just be back to square one (for what, the **tenth** time?) with her. Two days already into the camp and he'd royally messed up a lot. So he chose the latter.

Yuffie watched as Cloud turned from leering buttface to the quiet man she'd met on the first day. She was happy at this, but then a little disappointed. She thought she was getting somewhere with him, but apparently they still had a lot to learn about one another. She still wanted to learn why Cloud was so angry sometimes, why he slept so **deeply**, and how he managed to climb High Noon. She wanted to ask him if sleeping on his stomach was any more comfortable than sleeping on his back.

And she wanted to know how he kept his hair up like that.

She wanted to get to know Leonhart too. For one thing, she would really, really like to know his first name. And she wanted to be able to have a conversation with him without her turning to jello. She wanted to know how he got the scar between his eyes, and she wanted to see how soft his hair really was.

There were so many things she wanted to know, and she felt as if it was just too much to think about all at once.

But she had a lot of time to learn, didn't she?

"I'll make a proposition with you," Yuffie said finally. Maybe Cloud and her could work things out. And maybe she'd find a way to make him—and Leonhart—smile. Because she was sure they both had gorgeous smiles.

"What?" Cloud murmured, his long blonde bangs covering his face. Yuffie smiled a little. He was so adorable sometimes and he didn't realize it.

"In exchange for my dinner, I'll let you get something else. You can have anything from me," Yuffie said simply. She was trying her best to be sincere, but Cloud still looked pretty dreary. She sighed. "You don't have to answer right now."

As she waited she began to stare off into the distance. Or rather, at Leonhart. Why oh why did he have such a nice body? It was crazy; she had never stared at one person, man or woman, as much as she did with her commander. There was something so mature and seductive about him that made her nutty in the head.

Cloud was watching her too. Watching her watching _him_. He realized then that the way she looked at him and the way she _oogled _at the commander were very different. Cloud's stomach did a little twist at that. He talked with Yu plenty, but did that mean anything to her? He suddenly felt like a very small boy, when all the girls he liked only liked him as a friend.

'_But Yu is a guy.'_

"What the hell am I thinking," Cloud muttered as Yuffie continued to look on. Cloud wondered what his partner was thinking. '_Forbidden fruit, maybe?'_ Cloud didn't know what to think when he saw Yu looking at Leonhart like that. His childish moralities told him it was shocking and repulsive, but there was a curious part of him that wondered about it. Was he jealous? Or was just jealousy a cover-up for the disgust he was feeling for his partner?

Cloud sighed, realizing that Yu's offer suddenly sounded very good. Anything, he said? Cloud wasn't gay, that he was positive.

Or was he…?

And was Yu?

Cloud sighed. He was going to get very little sleep that night.

* * *

A/N: Why are my chapters so short? I don't know. I'm trying to make them longer. Slowly. I'm working on it. Seriously.

Ok, there has been A LOT of Cloud/Yuffie interaction. But that's going to culminate in a problem later on…(hint hint—can anyone say **friend zone**? Terrible place to be.) Things are going to get tough for Cloud though once Squall's daddy comes and Squall's free to roam about the camp….

Next chapter: Yuffie stinks! Bath time….

Reviewand you shall have my heart. Muah!


	5. Squall

Warrior, I Am

Chapter 5: Squall 

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I would've made the sequel less craptastic. And if I owned Mulan I would've put more romance into it. 

A/N: Sorry for the delay. This site was being an asshole to me and wouldn't let me submit anything.

One, this chapter is very Squall-ified. Hence the title. Two, the "Yuffie Stinks" chapter has been put off for chapter 6. It just didn't feel like it fit in with this one. I promise it'll be next though!

* * *

Seifer hated his job. 

He absofuckinglutely hated his job. It was as simple as that.

So what exactly did he do?

Well…

He was supposed to be the look out man. The "hawk". The sucker who had to stand on mountains all day and watch goddamn snow fall. Sephiroth said it was for _safety _purposes. Who the hell believed that ruse? Safety wasn't a problem when it came to Sephiroth. The man could butcher a town in a single night if he wanted to; and he had before.

Seifer snorted. No, he was too young to remember terrible shit like that. He had heard stories of it though; how Sephiroth had gone crazy and massacred his home town; how he'd set the whole friggin thing on fire to erase all memories; how he fucking left **one kid **alive so he could have a worthy rival…at least, that's how the stories went. Stories usually just equaled myths. And Seifer would be damned if he ever put his faith in a myth.

Anyways, back to having "safety". Sephiroth didn't really trust any of them. Sure, he called them all his "brothers", but everyone knew that Sephiroth would strangle his "brother" in his sleep if that were necessary. Sephiroth solely relied on himself. The rest of them were just lackeys to help him do his dirty work.

Seifer knew that; so why was he here, watching snow fall?

"Because of him," Seifer muttered sourly. "That sonnuva bitch that got promoted just because he was the general's son. He didn't even deserve it."

Seifer's strength was something to do reckoned with; also, so was his anger. His abilities probably even rivaled Axel's, one of Sephiroth's followers. Even though he could easily shove his way to Sephiroth's side, Seifer knew better than to do that. If he became one of Sephiroth's devout lackeys, then he'd be just like all the other suckers. Sephiroth would never let him out of his sight. As the lookout man, Seifer had many available choices. Even though his job was as boring as watching an old man hobble a marathon, he could leave Sephiroth in the blink of an eye if he had to.

He could chase after _him_ at any moment if he had to.

Seifer sighed. Was he really just a fallen warrior? A man doomed to be caught behind _his _footsteps? He didn't want to consider that as a possibility. His life was filled with too much anger and determination for that _guy_ to just **win**. That's why he was with Sephiroth. Not because he thought it was the winning side (because for sure it was); not because he even _believed _in all of the mindless killing. No, it was because of him.

"Squall. I'll get you yet."

* * *

Yuffie yawned and dragged herself out of bed. It had been a week since the camp had started; seven whole days since she had her harrowing episode on the pole of death. 

Seven days since she'd "proposed" to Cloud.

Seven days…

"My life is starting to sound like some horror movie," Yuffie muttered, pulling out her normal garb. She waved out her shirt, frowning a little when a particular aroma hit her nostrils. Yuffie blanched a little and glanced around, as if there was an audience in her tent. Then, cautiously, Yuffie sniffed the left armpit of her shirt.

By jiminy, holy crickets! Yuffie nearly shrieked in horror. Holy pig guts, was that smell her doing? If you can imagine what a sour onion smells like, that's what Yuffie had just been subjected to. How the hell could her tiny little armpits generate such a stink? It was like shoving her nose up a horse's ass.

Yuffie, aware of her morning time constraints, hurriedly picked up her alternate shirt. She sniffed that one too. She was hoping for a rosy smell…but no. It smelled worse.

How was this happening to her? She didn't want to smell like poo poo! What would Cloud think? She was already envisioning the terrible scene. She would lift up her arm to block him, he'd get a big 'ol whiff of her stench, and he'd just plain faint on the ground. He'd slink away from her every chance he'd get! And her commander? His nose hairs would fall out the next time he talked to her! She was going to die…everyone would be appalled by her smell…

Wait.

What the hell was she talking about? She was in a camp with guys who didn't even **wipe **after they went to the bathroom. She, smelling like dung? Puh-leese! She had been in the breathing space of some men who smelled so bad it was almost acidic to her senses. And why did it even matter whether she stunk or not? She was supposed to be a guy. Maybe if she smelled some more people wouldn't think she was such a girl.

But still….

Yuffie partly knew why she was in this dilemma. Exactly two days ago she had decided to stop wearing her girly deodorant. Cloud had commented that she smelled like decomposed vegetation, an insult that she still didn't quite understand, but one that bothered her nonetheless. Men didn't smell like decomposed vegetation….whatever that was. So she had stopped wearing it.

And of course…there was one other thing…

She hadn't bathed herself in ten days.

Didn't sound that bad yet? Well, this was Yuffie who was covered in _sweat _and grimy _dirt_ everyday. And she hadn't washed any of it off since she had left her home.

It's not that she didn't want to feel sparkly-clean. It was just that she was terrified of someone seeing her in the water. She had no one to cover her back (no she would not ask _Cloud_, of all people). And she was too afraid of sneaking out of her tent during the night because she'd heard rumors that Vincent prowled at night. She didn't want to have to encounter those red eyes and that claw at two in the morning.

How long was she going to put off her sanitation? She wasn't sure. Forever, maybe.

She sighed, got dressed, and went to wake up Cloud.

Yuffie had worked out her own little system by then. Cloud had always avoided speaking to her about his sleeping problems, so she devised her own way of waking him up. So far (the past two days) it had been relatively effective, with only a few injuries on her part.

Three days ago Yuffie had discovered that Cloud was very ticklish in his feet. He would start squirming the minute her fingers touched his sole. He would throw his legs out so that it looked like he was trying to swim in the air. This was a good method (in her opinion) because his feet were very easy to reach…and it was so comical for her.

It was relatively effective for the past two days because the first time she tried it she got kicked again. (And then of course the same cycle would ensue: Cloud would wake up and find her doubled over in pain. He'd become quiet and morose and attempt in his own awkward way to apologize. But that time she didn't ignore him afterwards.) The next time she tried it, she brought her pillow out and used it to cushion his foot. It worked; her stomach was still intact.

Not that she still couldn't feel the kick through the pillow though.

"Tickly-tickly," said Yuffie, running her hands over Cloud's feet. They began to flail like fish out of water. She always had to watch herself when she did this. If she didn't, she might end up with a mouth full of Cloud's icky toes.

"Come on Cloud, wakey wakey…"

Yuffie was laughing now. He always looked so dumb in the morning. She would never tell him that though, because she knew for a fact he wouldn't refrain from hitting her. "Get up…"

"What're you doing?"

That wasn't Cloud's voice.

It was too calm…

Too stoic…

Agh! Yuffie's heart flew in a million different directions. Agh times ten! She gripped Cloud's pale feet (darn boy needed to tan some more) like a steering wheel. She was too afraid—not to mention embarrassed—to look up.

It was Leonhart. In all of his commander-like glory.

'_Well, say something, you dope!'_ Her mind chided her. She didn't even want to imagine what she looked like right now. She, crouching outside of her partner's tent, holding onto his feet for dear life. She glanced down. Yep. She was so nervous she was squeezing the life right outta his toes. And of course he slept on, unawares.

Geez.

Wasn't the "partner" contract to "watch each other's backs, at all costs?"

Well…

Damn bloke wouldn't even wake up when she needed him.

Yuffie slowly, eventually, glanced up at her commander. She steeled herself for the most awkward of stares. She was also perfectly prepared for feeling disarmed (his looks did that to her). So cautiously, the girl in disguise looked up.

**HOLY SHIT--!**

What in the world was he wearing? Yuffie glanced away quickly, coloring slightly. Gosh darn that man. Here she was, trying to be a man as best she could, and this guy comes over wearing leather pants. **Leather pants.** The only other time she'd ever seen a man wear those…well, it definitely wasn't for kid's eyes, that was for sure.

"Good morning, sir," she stalled for time, even when she wanted to scream, "What the hell are you doing _here?_" Didn't he have to get ready for training? Prepare himself for the onslaught of idiocy (like hers) that he had to deal with every day?

"Kisaragi." She figured that was his way of saying "Good morning."

Oh. There it was. The awkward stare. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Eh heh…" Yuffie murmured, finally releasing Cloud's feet. "Well, sir…" She said in her best man voice that she could muster. Oh, did she mention that? She'd gotten pretty good at it since she'd first got to camp.

Should she spill? She wasn't sure that Cloud wanted his little "secret" to be known by the commander. And she'd feel bad for using him to protect herself from Leonhart. Hey, it wasn't Cloud's fault that Yuffie felt so vulnerable around Leonhart. She was pretty sure if Leonhart wanted to rape her she'd only ask, "outside or in the tent?"

It was that bad.

Eh heh…think man thoughts….think man thoughts….

Ok, so she had developed a _slight _infatuation for him. Who wouldn't? (Cloud.) She tried to convince herself it was only because he was so mysterious…

But Cloud was mysterious to her too…along with all of the other men…

So what was it about him that made him so special?

"Well, sir, just having a little fun with my partner." Yuffie tried her best to sound jolly. She looked like a moron. She slapped Cloud's feet heartily as if they shared some inside joke together. "Yep, that's us…" She smiled weakly at him.

Leonhart (more comfortably known as Squall) arched his eyebrow at her. She knew in an instant that he didn't believe her. She averted her eyes away from his eyes and to his pants. And then she had to avert her eyes back to his face, because she very couldn't well be staring at those pants!

"Is he sleeping?"

"Uh, no. He's just pretending to be asleep."

Yuffie hoped that didn't sound too ridiculous. Cloud pretending to sleep for her amusement was as common as seeing a green moon in the sky.

"And he lets you do that?" Squall's face was on the borderline of being bemused.

"What're you doing here, sir?" Yuffie tactlessly changed the subject. "Training starts…" '_Now, practically.'_

"I cancelled training this morning," Squall said coolly, finally tearing his searing eyes away from her. He was looking far into the distance.

Yuffie's mouth made a small 'O' of surprise. She forgot the formalities for a moment. "You can **do** _that_?"

Squall looked at her with a small quirk of his lips. "I can do a lot of things…" He trailed off, and his eyes were digging right into her again.

Yikes. If she didn't know any better…

Was he suggesting something more…lewd?

But she was supposed to be a guy!

"Why?" Yuffie had a lot of questions now. Why'd he just cancel? Weren't they on a tight schedule or something? What about Sephiroth? What were they going to do if they didn't have training?

Squall stared at the younger Kisaragi. Unknowing to her, but she had just voiced all of that out loud. She seemed to be accustomed to talking to herself. Squall interrupted her before she could babble any more.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"

'_Walk? **Walk?** My legs are jello right now. You'll have to carry me…'_

She didn't mind the sound of that.

AH! What was she doing? What was she **_thinking_**? She was starting to tread on very dangerous ground. For someone so cold, Leonhart sure made her feel like she was on fire. Did he _know_ that she was a girl? And if not, then what was he doing? Was he gay? Did he realize what he was doing?

Was she just over exaggerating his actions?

"Sure…" Somehow she'd forgotten to say sir. She carefully tucked Cloud's feet back into his tent (she didn't want them to get too cold) and stood up next to Squall. He looked down at her and nodded his head to the side. He began to walk and she followed.

Yuffie attempted to keep up with Squall as he walked calmly through the camp. She lagged behind a little, her eyes trained on his hair and how it went _swish, swish_ as he walked. Also, it would be impossible for him to smell her if she was behind him and the wind was blowing her way. She, on the other hand, got to get a nice big whiff of Squall's cologne, which smelled a little spicy.

"Like tacos," Yuffie muttered, drooling to herself. Oh shoot. She was hungry—but only for tacos. The chance of those grumpy chefs making tacos was very slim though. All they ever made was cereal, canned goods, and soup. Or rather…all they ever _made_ was soup. Couldn't they spice up the menu a bit?

"—say something?" Squall cut into her train of thoughts. He wasn't looking at her. He didn't sound like he cared whether she really did say anything or not. Why'd he invite her to walk if he didn't want to talk? Unless he was the "I-Like-Long-Walks-On-The-Beach-With-Sustained-Silence" sort of guy.

Argh. Her mind was all over the place. She sounded senile to herself.

"Erm, no. Just talking to myself. Sir." Somehow she had gotten a hold of her formalities again. She glanced up and saw that Squall just kept walking as if she didn't exist. She suddenly wanted to be back with Cloud. Being with the commander made her feel giddy, but also nervous—so much that she often wished she could be rid of his presence. She acted like an idiot around him.

"Do you have a sister?" Squall finally asked, still not looking at her. His hands were in his pockets. (Leather pants have pockets?)

Yuffie frowned, and she felt her heart thud double-time. How in the world did everyone know about her? And she thought that she was just the ambiguous little twerp that no guy ever looked at. If she knew about all this attention earlier, she might've attempted to look nicer in public.

In a camp full of men with her breasts bound, and walking with her very attractive commander, Yuffie figured it was too late for that now.

"A twin." Yuffie told him, just like she told Cloud. "She's at home." Did she tell Cloud that "she" was at home too? Yuffie couldn't remember what she had said. Whoops. "She's..uh…." Yuffie figured now was the time to fluff her feathers a little. "She's really talented."

Did Squall just chuckle? What was he giggling about? She didn't say anything funny.

"How so?" He asked in that deep baritone of his. Unknowingly, he had fallen in Yuffie's trap.

"Well…" Yuffie thought for a moment. "She's a very accomplished ninja." Half lie; Yuffie, at some minor point in her life, _had_ trained to be a ninja. Squall didn't need to know that she gave up after two years. "She's a good artist too. She paints murals." If fences were considered murals. "And…she's very good with her mouth."

Whoops.

Exactly what did she mean by that? It kinda just slipped out.

Squall had stopped walking.

"Oomph," Yuffie blew out. She had walked into Squall, her nose buried in his back. She stepped away hastily. Darn it, why'd she have to say that. She _was_ thinking of talking, singing and public speaking—fer chrissakes—when she had formulated that sentence. Never in her right mind was she thinking about how it would actually _come out_. She never intended it to sound so…dirty.

And really…it had **extremely **dirty connotations.

"Well, what I mean is—" Yuffie sputtered.

"How would you know that?" Squall asked, voice low. Yuffie blinked in confusion.

"Know what?"

"That she was good with her mouth."

Yuffie blinked again as his words sunk in. How would she know…--OH EW! **EW!** What was going on in that man's head? Oh no, oh no. Was he asking what she thought he was asking? Now not only did he think she was helplessly stupid and girly, but that she also chronically engaged in incestuous acts with her non-existent twin sister.

She wanted to world to swallow her up right there.

'_Dear heavens, just let me crawl back to my tent and forget I ever took a walk with him…'_

"I don't—it's not like I—what I meant to say was—" Yuffie stuttered. Damn her mouth. Damn it. Her deceitful orifice exploded with an explanation before she could live in any more embarrassment. "She sings! Sings like a professional."

Squall stared at her for a while, watching her fidget helplessly. Yuffie was completely unaware of this, but Squall found it amusing to make her uncomfortable. People like her—perky and loud—often irritated him, and antagonizing them was a favorite pastime of his. It was a perk in his normally strenuous and frustrating itinerary.

"She seems very talented," Squall finally agreed with her. Yuffie sighed. Thank Ansem he believed her. Squall looked back at her, a small quirk to his lips. An eccentricity that normal people wouldn't notice if they weren't walking so close to him like she was. "I'd like to hear her sing."

"Eh heh…" Yuffie muttered, scratching the back of her head. That was a nice enough request if he wanted to go deaf. Not to mention that—again—she did not have a twin-sister that was amazingly talented. Only herself, with her bad ninja skills and currently stinky clothes. "She's…"

"At home," Squall completed for her. He was walking and looking back at her. Yuffie hoped he didn't walk into a tree. "That's what you said."

Oh darn it, the man happened to have a very good memory. _She _couldn't even remember that she said that. This was going to be a problem. Maybe she should keep a book of her lies so she could keep herself straight.

"That's what I said," Yuffie repeated. "Yeah." She stared dumbly at him. "At home, at home…" She muttered. She had a bad habit of repeating things when she was lying. Squall didn't know that though.

Squall arched his eyebrows at her. He had taken her to the lake. He was planning on bathing, and was soon going to send Yuffie away. Sure, he believed that Yuffie was a boy, but Squall still didn't like the idea of having the young kid standing there while he scrubbed himself.

That, and he happened to not believe Yuffie's lying ass one second.

"When in vice, say it twice," Squall muttered in reference to her "At home, at home." He didn't believe that Yuffie was telling the truth about her sister; he wasn't even sure if Yu Kisaragi had a sister, or even if Yu was his real name. For being such a klutzy, useless boy, he was very keen about covering up something big. Squall just didn't know what it was.

"Sir?" Yuffie was standing awkwardly behind him, glancing at the lake. Why'd he bring her out here? "Why'd you cancel practice this morning?"

Squall didn't break eye contact with her as he slipped off his jacket. Alarm signals went throughout Yuffie's body. Had he come here to rape her? Agh! She remembered what she had thought before about letting him do such a thing. She was just joking then—no way was he going to get near her! She'd pummel his face into a tree!

"To get ready for my father." Squall was pulling up his shirt. Yuffie was torn between wanting to run away and wanting to watch him strip. Just standing in front of him made her feel insanely perverted.

Squall was moving closer to her. Their chests were almost touching now. "Actually, you should be helping to clean up. Your section of tents is assigned to clean the horse stalls." As if she didn't smell enough already.

Yuffie trembled. He was shirtless and she was trying her hardest to keep looking at his face. There was something weird about him. She almost found it flattering that he felt this comfortable with her, but it bothered her too because she was a guy. If he was gay…well, then she definitely had no chance with him. He seemed to like Yu, not Yuffie. He thought Yuffie was a great singer and an amazing ninja. What would he do if he knew the truth?

Yuffie had to know.

Her big mouth got her into trouble again.

"Sir, do you like me?"

Squall's eyebrows rose up. He stared at her for a second, eyes wide. Then his eyes closed tightly, and Yuffie suddenly feared that he would hit her. Instead he put a hand on her shoulder, making Yuffie jump at the contact. His mouth was pulled into a thin line, as if his face was frozen half way through a smile. The hand on her shoulder squeezed.

"Oh course I do," Squall said, almost conversationally. Yuffie's heart nearly exploded. Did he mean that? No, wait. Even if he did…it was Yu he was saying it to! Not Yuffie. She wanted to cry in indignation.

But then, her annoyance now was nothing compared to what she felt next.

Squall looked levelly into her eyes and said, very seriously,

"I like you like a brother."

Yuffie could've fainted.

Did an atomic just go off in her head?

She must've made a sound like a dying squirrel because Squall gave a small chuckle then, pushing her away. "You have duties to attend to, Yu."

"Sir," she began, knowing her face was one big livid tomato. Squall looked back at her, halfway to the water. His eyes were stony.

"Duties," Squall reminded her, turning back to the lake.

End of discussion.

Yuffie couldn't have been angrier.

A **_brother!

* * *

_**

"Sir, we have successfully sent a messenger to Lieutenant Leonhart's camp. We are less than twenty miles away. Our surveyor has informed me that after we pass the next row of mountains, the trip will be easy even on foot. We should arrive at the camp by tomorrow night." The soldier finished with much gusto, bowing deeply to his commander.

"Hm…" The aforementioned man said, assumingly mulling over the news. He was leaning far over his desk so it was difficult to see exactly what he was doing. "Tell me something, soldier Jaskow…."

Jaskow straightened attentively. It was his duty to provide any sort of information that his commander asked for. **Any **sort of information. As long as it came from his commander's mouth, his request was law. It didn't matter if he was asking about battle plans or what shirt to wear that morning. Jaskow would devoutly answer any question his commander fired at him.

The commander whirled around so quickly that a flurry of papers fluttered off of his desk. The commander's face was grim and sweaty. He held two large pictures in his hands. "Tell me…"

Jaskow bit his lip. Oh no.

It was going to be one of those days again.

The commander was waving the two pictures furiously in his face. "Tell me honestly, Jaskow, because I just can't decide myself. Which girl do you think is prettier?" He thrust the first picture in Jaskow's face. It had a slim, pretty brunette with large brown eyes and noticeably tight spandex shorts. Jaskow was forced to stare at it for a full two minutes, taking in the girl's highlights and long blue cape-thingy.

"Or…this one!" The commander swiftly placed in front of him another picture, this time with a mature-looking blonde with a beautiful face framed with glasses. Her blue eyes were stunningly piercing.

"Take your time, Jaskow," the commander muttered lowly. Jaskow exhaled slowly.

He needed another job.

"I honestly don't know, sir," Jaskow said candidly. "If I had to choose, I'd take both of them."

The commander let out a loud guffaw. "Ho, ho, that's probably what I would say." The commander slapped Jaskow heartily on the back. "But seriously, in this situation only one can prevail. So which'll it be?"

"I honestly don't know," Jaskow repeated. He glanced up at the commander's face. His commander looked so wrought with indecision that he looked absolutely constipated. "What's this for anyways?"

The commander beamed a thousand-watt smile, and Jaskow hoped in one sickening moment that the answer wasn't going to be illegal.

"My son," The commander said simply. "That weenie will never get married if I don't choose for him."

"Now sir, weenie is a strong word," Jaskow warned, knowing that the commander did not curse unless he was very upset. "And I don't think that's a very bright idea. Squall already despises you enough as it is. Choosing a wife for him just seems a little over the top."

Commander Laguna shook his head. "No no no, Jaskow, now don't take my son's side on this issue. I've already given the stubborn boy a choice. He had his chance to go skirt chasing, and he wasted it. He is just unwilling to accept the fact that he needs to carry on the Leonhart lineage. Now I'm having my way."

Jaskow sighed, knowing that Laguna meant the best but that this sort of thing would only end in disaster. "I'm telling you, commander, Squall hates being screwed with. And if he doesn't love the girl, who knows what he'll do? To you? Even worse, to _her?_"

"Heaven forbid if he does anything to her," Laguna said in one of his rare moments of extreme sarcasm. "That boy has the sex drive of a comatose walrus. I'd be lucky to find out if he's even interested in one gender."

"Sir! That's too harsh!"

Laguna sighed, waving away Jaskow's words. "Well…maybe you're right. That was a little below the belt. But what am I supposed to do? I don't know how I can make him accept me…everything I do just makes him angrier with me. There's no way I can go about the marriage issue without making him upset."

Jaskow listened assiduously, nodding his head. He was nearly the same age as Squall, but having been a subordinate to Laguna for so long, he nearly felt like he was Squall's father too.

"Maybe…" Jaskow thought carefully. An idea was formulating in his head. "Maybe you can give him…an ultimatum."

"An ultimatum?"

"You know, a challenge to seal a negotia—"

Laguna stomped his foot. "I know what an ultimatum is, you weenie! But what kind? My son doesn't get baited into challenges very easily."

Jaskow smiled, his sly side slipping out. "Oh, he'll have to agree to this one."

"Do tell."

Jaskow leaned closer. Laguna had put his ridiculous pictures down to listen conscientiously to his subordinate. "Well," Jaskow began. "When you arrive at camp tomorrow, before your son even goes to bed, you have to lay down the law! Tell him that he either picks his own wife or you'll pick for him."

Laguna nodded slowly, digesting the plan. It sounded pretty good. "But what's the time limit?"

Jaskow thought for a moment and then smiled wickedly. He leaned over to whisper in Laguna's ear.

"One month. Squall will have one month to find a wife."

* * *

A/N: Somewhat short chapter. I hadn't planned half of the stuff in this chapter, but I felt like I needed it because Squall just wasn't gettingany action. Anyways,the events in this chapter are sorta likeacatalyst becausethey're going to get both Squall and Cloud to start questioning feelings that they didn't even know were there. (Especially for Squall.)And it'll only become more confusing for them as the story goes on…he he…torturing those two is going to be so much fun. 

I laughed while writing Laguna. For those of you that don't know, Laguna is Squall's (biological?) dad in FF8. And yes, he does say "weenie" a lot.

Thank goodness Seifer revealed Squall's name. Haha. Yuffie doesn't know his first name though, cuz I'm saving that for a special occasion!

Also…I just want to say that I don't throw in these author notes just to fill up space. I've gotten a lot of questions that were stated previously in author's notes. Even if my author notes are boring, there are still things in them that would be useful to know. Next chapter I will attempt to answer any questions so…ask away!

Next chapter: Yuffie takes a bath! I swear it this time!

You know the drill: click "Review"!


	6. Put Me Down!

Warrior, I Am

Chapter 6: Put Me Down!

Disclaimer: I own this disclaimer only. That is my disclaimer. 

A/N: Gah! I'm sorry this took so long. I had serious problems with uploading. Geez, I was ready to tear my computer up by the bolts!

The questions are answered at the end individually. I would suggest-for some of you-to read it before you read this chapter. It might help to clear things up.

This chapter happens right after Squall called Yuffie a brother. She's walking back to her tent.

* * *

"_I like you like a brother."_

**A brother!**

"Damn him," she gritted out, clenching her teeth together so hard that it hurt. A brother? That's not exactly what she had wanted to hear. Maybe, "you're cute," or even "yeah, you're tolerable." But to be told she was some sort of sibling to him? Not very romantic…

Yuffie stopped walking. She sighed.

"What am I talking about," Yuffie muttered, tugging absentmindedly at the tank top that bound her breasts. "I should be glad he said that, and nothing more…"

She knew that her cover would be blown if she became too involved with anyone in any sort of way. She was completely aware that every second that she was in the camp her life was on the line.

Or…

She _used _to be really conscious of it. As of late that very essential fact had been slipping away from her. She'd begun to feel comfortable being in the camp with the men. So comfortable that she could tickle feet and ask someone if they liked her…

Yuffie had to watch herself. If she wasn't careful, everyone would soon know she didn't have the 'ol nuts and berries, and then where would her life be?

"That's it," she murmured, clenching her fists. "From now on, I am a man. A complete prude. I will spit and fart and not be feminine at all."

"Good luck with that," Cloud said from behind her. Yuffie whirled around with a squeak. "And don't fart; you stink enough already."

Yuffie's cheeks burned, but she didn't have an intelligent comeback to that one. Instead she asked, "How did you wake yourself up?"

A good question too. Yuffie thought (a bit egotistically) that she was the only one in camp to have the ability to wake up the blonde.

"I didn't really wake _myself _up…"

Cloud glanced meaningfully at her and tugged on his hair. Water was dripping from the plastered locks.

It was then that Yuffie realized that Cloud was soaking wet. And upon closer inspection, she also noticed that even more water was seeping out of his tent.

"Did a tidal wave hit you?" Yuffie wasn't sure if she was being humorous or serious with that statement. A tidal wave didn't look like it was so farfetched.

Cloud glanced off to the side as if he was upset about something. Water dripped off his face and his hair looked like a sodden carpet.

"Yeah, sure," he muttered. He said something after that, but Yuffie didn't quite catch it.

"Erm, what? Did you say Francine?"

Cloud speckled her with water from his fingertips. "Vincent," he said slowly. "Vincent woke me up."

"Oh."

The blonde sighed at her. "You're such an idiot sometimes…"

Yuffie's mouth dropped open. Ugh. How dare he. She was still raw from the morning and she was in no mood to deal with Cloud's crap, too.

She stomped forward and gave Cloud a firm push. The hard, warm flesh of his chest didn't seem to yield for a second, and then he stumbled back slightly. He looked so indifferent that it made her even angrier.

"Jerk," Yuffie snapped.

"Whatever you say," was his ever-elusive answer.

"Jerk!" Yuffie repeated, not fully understanding why Cloud's coldness was upsetting her. He was like this every day. Sometimes he would insult her; other times he'd appear to give in, like now. But even when he "gave in", she never felt victorious-only stupid somehow.

"It seems like you want to fight," Cloud said in all of his insightful wisdom.

He was smarter than Yuffie gave him credit for.

Not that she'd admit that to him though.

"I do not." Oh, but she did. She wanted him to insult and scream at her so she'd have a reason to unsheathe her claws at him. She wanted somebody who would be her mindless punching bag. But most of all…she wanted somebody to grab her and shake her and tell her that there was somebody else better than Leonhart in the world.

Lot's of fish in the sea, sweetie.

"Are you sure of that?" Sincere enough words, but Cloud wasn't even looking at her like he cared for an answer. Yuffie's anger was still molten lava, so she didn't trust herself to answer that directly just yet.

"Why aren't you drying yourself up? You'll catch pneumonia." Count on her to show worry when she really wanted to murder a man.

She couldn't read his eyes. "Doubtful."

Completely deadpan, and somehow he managed to sound smug.

She was _this muchhh_ closer to strangling him.

"You're not invincible," Yuffie said, feeling like an old biddy as she said it. If he wasn't so introverted he'd probably say, "Well, duh."

Of course Cloud didn't say that though. Instead he gave her a smile-or at least she thought it was. His lips were stretched into a straight line, and she had to squint to see them turned up at the edges. He looked like he was trying to smile while he had an arrow in his bum.

"Of course not."

Something sad and lonely about those words.

How many secrets did this man have?

"We have a job to do," Cloud whispered finally. "Let's go."

Yuffie crossed her arms over her chest. She was still upset about that morning, and even more irritated that he didn't take her advice and go dry his ass. She was still shaking with rejection and fury and maybe Cloud knew that too. "You can't tell me what to do. You're not Leonhart."

Oh. _Ouch._

Yuffie didn't realize the line she had crossed until Cloud was standing over her, his eyes as cool as unyielding as a pure diamond. The scene wasn't unlike her first day at camp, when she had accidentally asked him for directions to High Noon.

"You're right," Cloud said. His eyes nearly blazed to green, and he looked terribly ominous at that moment. Her heart started to thud faster, and it wasn't because of their close proximity. "I'm **_not _**Leonhart." His eyes narrowed then, and he stepped closer. Yuffie stepped back. Cloud followed. It was like a dance that Yuffie didn't want to be a part of. "Where were you this morning?"

Uh oh. Suddenly the tables had turned. Now Cloud was in one in control, and Yuffie was helplessly stuck in an interrogation.

Somehow Yuffie never saw this coming.

"I—I—" She stuttered, eyes on Cloud's nose and mouth. She was too afraid to look into his eyes. "I was taking a walk…"

Cloud's face leered. How quickly he went from subdued to fuming! "All by yourself?"

Yuffie nodded. Cloud's eyes widened with perceptible fury. She quickly shook her head.

"Were you with Leonhart?"

Yuffie didn't answer.

Cloud grabbed her wrist.

"Cloud…" Yuffie whispered, looking into his eyes despairingly. Her brain was on panic mode. What was wrong with him? What happened to the composed man before? Where had he gone?

_Who was this Cloud?_

"WERE YOU?"

Were you?

_A brother._

A flash of what had happened with Leonhart, and suddenly all of her senses were overloaded. Her eyes felt wet.

"STOP IT!" Yuffie finally screamed back. Her lungs were sore but she'd barely said a thing. Her whole body trembled from fear-fear of this foreign man that certainly didn't seem to be Cloud.

Her wrist was dropped as if she were poisonous. She quickly moved away so there was at least two feet between them. "You're scaring me…"

Cloud's eyes didn't soften like they usually did. "You'll live," he said coolly, turning around. He walked away without a word.

Yuffie's eyes stung. Her heart was like lead. She didn't talk on the way to the stables.

* * *

Stables were very difficult to clean when one is trying to hold back tears, Yuffie discovered. The walk to the stables had been a brisk one and the conversation very stilted indeed. By the time they had the shovels in their hands, Yuffie still hadn't managed to get over the shock. 

Rejected by **_two _**men in a matter of minutes. Was that even possible? For a prostitute, yes. But Yuffie was no prostitute. And she never asked to be in the position she was now.

Her former conversation came back to her. How she should be _glad _and _thankful_ that the men around her were too cruel to her to notice that she was a woman. Cloud and Squall, bless their souls, were such assholes that it kept her alive. Thank heavens for them.

Her shovel went too deep into a mound of poop and she almost lost her balance. "If I get a face-full of shit…" Yuffie trailed off, sniffling. Deceiving eyeballs she did have. Was Big Mama the Geyser living behind her eyes? She had enough water in them to quench a third world country.

Why did Cloud and Squall think they had the nerve to mess with people's feelings like that? Especially _Squall._ Hitting on her and then turning her away! Yuffie didn't know what to think about him. For goodness sakes, if he was gay, he could at least act it out right.

And _Cloud!_ Why did he go bipolar on her? He was so indifferent and serene one moment, and then he was suddenly spiraling toward her like an angry tornado. And all she did was mention Leonhart…

Yuffie didn't want to admit it yet, but if she didn't know any better, Cloud was jealous of Squall.

Jealous of what though?

'_Maybe Cloud wants Leonhart,'_ Yuffie thought miserably. "Why oh why do all the nice, attractive men have to be homosexual…"

A hand clapped onto her back, nearly sending her into a stable filled with hay and horse doo-doo. She gasped in shock and anger and righted her self quickly.

"I say that all the time." A sweet, dainty voice said from behind her. She removed the hand from her shoulder ungratefully, remembering how close her body was to falling into the stables. She glared at the stranger, her puffy eyes a signal that she was not in the mood for talk.

"You mistake me," Yuffie said evenly.

The boy that had spoken just gave a lucratively perverse smile. Apparently he took that statement as an invitation. He leaned in closer and whispered, "Oh, do I?"

She almost expected Cloud to come up to them then and tell the boy to buzz off. But then she remembered that they were still fighting, and that he wouldn't go out on a limb for her anymore.

Yuffie shivered, feeling very violated and unprotected. What the boy said…and the way he said it…made her feel like he knew a big secret that she didn't want to get out.

Like her feelings.

Or that she was a **girl**.

Yuffie needed to get away from this strange boy.

"I have to work," she said quickly, moving away from his body. She picked up her shovel, having half the mind to bonk him on the head with it. Instead she just held it up, a little too high, to warn him away.

"Calm down hon, I won't tell," the boy said with a wink. Yuffie's insides squirmed. Tell what? Tell who? What did he know?

Yuffie moved in on him this time, the dirty shovel dangerously close to both of their faces. "If you tell anyone…" About what? She didn't even know what this boy was talking about. "If you tell anyone about _that_, I'll murder you."

And she almost nearly meant it too, if he told…whatever he knew.

The boy started to laugh. He pulled her closer and Yuffie almost made him eat her shovel. "So you are hiding something."

"Wuh-" Yuffie yelped, realizing she had fallen into his trap. "I am not!"

The boy laughed. "Well, whatever _it_ is…I _won't_ tell." And the boy gave her one more wink. "Oh…and my name is Ebon."

"I don't want your name," Yuffie snapped viciously. Ebon just laughed again.

"Sure." Ebon looked down at his gloved hands, sighing dramatically. "I hate cleaning this stables. It's so disgusting…" And with that he walked away.

As soon as he was gone Yuffie quickly made a profile of him in her mind. He was only slightly taller than her, and he had short black hair (almost like hers) and startling green eyes. Yuffie almost decided to add that he was probably and most likely gay, which would not bode well for her.

"I just hope he's not interested in _me_," Yuffie muttered as she went away shoveling more crap.

* * *

"Dear god…" 

The brown-haired, blue-eyed commander twisted the cap off the bottle labeled 'Aspirin' and popped one into his mouth. He swallowed it dry with a wince. He was about to recap the bottle, then thought better of it. He quickly grabbed another 500 mg pill and swallowed that, too. Maybe 1000 mg was a bit of overkill, but with his father coming, he'd need every single milligram.

Hey, as long as it didn't kill him, all was swell.

Of course he might be a little woozy later on…

Squall turned over the bottle and read the drug facts on the back. Uses-_temporarily_ relives minor aches and pains associated with: headaches-like the ones his father gave him, migraines-again, his father, and menstrual cramps-nope.

The bottle didn't list any potential side effects. '_Like dizziness, fatigue, vomiting…any excuse to save me from my father.' _

His father had sent him a scroll. "Objective scrolls" is what ninjas would probably call them. They contained directions pertaining to a particular mission, and would be either long or concise, depending on what the objective was. They were rarely used in the military now, but Laguna still fancied them because of the simple fact that-and Squall could quote his father exactly-, "Writing on rolled up paper is just jolly fun."

The scroll said in big scrawling letters, "YOU **WILL** MARRY A WOMAN!" Followed by-count them-fifteen exclamation points, all dotted with hearts.

Squall felt faintly nauseous, and it wasn't an understatement on his part.

How pleasant of his father to say, "You will marry a **woman**." Nice to see that Laguna was covering all bases (for once). Laguna's main objective, after all, was to have a pair of grandchildren sitting in his lap. The plan would be blown in the dust if Squall ended up saying "I do" to a Mr. Congeniality.

A long time ago Squall had attempted to be homosexual just to spite his father. What he discovered was that men were no less needy than women were, and that he was incapable of pleasing either sex. The yaoi thing did not work for him, and the one man Squall attempted to "come out" with told him straight to his face that all he had going for him was his looks.

And that was that.

"What are you up to, Laguna…" Squall whispered, staring at the scroll. "Just what the hell are you up to…"

* * *

Much to Yuffie's grief, Squall had only cancelled training for that morning. That meant moving from the stables right out to the field, where they were to spar for the remainder of the day. They didn't even have the luxury of changing out of their clothes before men were barking at them to go to the field and start fighting. 

This told everybody one simple thing: Squall was in a _very_ bad mood.

Without weapon's training, Yuffie was stuck enduring a big and painful beat-up session by Cloud. And since they never made up…

Cloud's punches would be worse than usual.

He stood in front of her now, not even looking at her. Usually, he had the nerve to stare straight at her, but Yuffie discovered that Cloud always averted his eyes when he was lying. And when he was angry he wouldn't even look at you at all.

Another idiosyncrasy of his.

It was windy, but the sun was out so it was bearable. The air was so fresh and new that if you breathed too deep it stung. Yuffie could hear men grunting and kicking all around them.

Yuffie tucked a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear and cleared her throat uncertainly. Cloud didn't look like he heard that. He was being so cold to her…she could practically feel it in her own body, from the top of her brown head down to her sheepskin boots.

"Hey," Yuffie said finally, working up enough nerve-or cowardice?-to speak. "Do you want to practice kicks or punches-"

Cloud swiftly sent a roundhouse kick to her ribs. The wind was torn from her lungs and she couldn't even make a sound as she fell to the ground.

"Kicks it is," Yuffie said, gritting her teeth. She stood up and threw her own kick at him, one that he captured easily within his right hand. With one easy tug she was on the floor.

She.Would.Not.Get.Angry.

Picking herself up in a way that would make any bullied up kid proud of, the young girl swung at Cloud again. And again. And again. Three times, and he sent her to the floor without as much as a bead of sweat.

It was the fourth time that got to her. Yuffie had faked an uppercut to his chin and attempted a knee to the stomach, but Cloud caught on quickly. He grabbed the bend of her knee and picked her straight off the ground, dangling her around like a dead goose. Then he dropped her rudely onto the ground, right by his feet.

_'That does it,'_ Yuffie thought with annoyance. She got a lobster hold on Cloud's calf and dug her nails in like a hungry panther. For some nails, she could feel the skin giving way. Cloud's face contorted and he looked ready to kick her in the mouth.

"That. Hurts." Cloud growled, grabbing her by the back of her shirt. He tried to tug her off, but Yuffie clung to his leg stubbornly. She wouldn't let him throw her around like a rag doll.

"Suck it up," Yuffie retorted. She moved her hands lower and grasped his shin. When he pulled at her shirt again, she took his ankle with her, and they both tumbled to the ground.

"Damn it."

"You deserved that one," she said in a know-it-all manner. "If you hadn't been so rough…"

Cloud pushed her shoulder, but not as hard as he should have. Despite falling over himself, Cloud somehow found the situation funny. He found that it was really hard to stay angry at Yu (the stupid little brat).

"_You _need to toughen up," Cloud said, shoving her again. "I was trying to help you."

"Help me?" Yuffie laughed, if not a bit sarcastically. "Whatever, Mr. Dumpy Drop. You're such a jerk."

"You _clawed_ me," Cloud said, as if that defended all that he did. "I swear…you get worse by the day."

Yuffie let out a big huff of air. "Get worse at what? Fighting? Annoying you? Eating? Singing? Dancing? _Breathing_?"

"I get it, Yu," Cloud said, staring straight at her like he usually did. _'Ah, that's more like it.' _

Just when Yuffie was sure they were back to their buddy-buddy attitude, Cloud shifted his body so he was leaning over her. Her cheeks flushed burgundy when his face moved close to her own.

"Cloud…" Yuffie began uncertainly. This was all too much like how Squall had leaned in close to her face. Right before he told her she was like a brother. "What're you-"

"You need a bath."

Blunt and completely to the point.

Yuffie was really starting to believe that all men were heartless after all.

* * *

"CLOUD! PUT ME DOWN!" 

Those words sealed her fate.

Or so the drama queen in her would like to think.

But she was getting ahead of herself…

After training, Squall was **_kind _**enough to allow them to all go to dinner. It was good that he did so because half of his men were nearly dead from exhaustion. Yuffie herself was so tired that she nearly found herself face down in the crap that the chefs liked to call soup. Cloud didn't seem too tired, but he did refuse to eat his dinner. He just sat there with his spoon, pouring the soup back into the bowl from such heights that it made a lovely chicken-noodle waterfall.

Yuffie snacked on some of the canned fruits, but she did that alone. She had given up offering Cloud food because he never accepted any of it.

Actually, Yuffie hadn't _ever _observed Cloud eating. She just never seemed to have enough energy to watch him open his mouth up and shove some tasty cereal down his throat. Now that she realized she had never seen him eat though, the thought bugged her terribly. And the fact that he wasn't eating tonight wasn't helping any either.

Was Cloud anorexic? Maybe he was more conscious of his looks than he let on…

"Probably not…" Yuffie muttered, giving him a quick up-down when he wasn't looking. He was way too buff and built to be anorexic. If he had an eating disorder she'd probably be seeing his spine popping out of his back.

"What did you say?"

"Huh?" Yuffie looked at him, eyes widening as he lifted his spoon again. She half hoped he would put it in his mouth, but she was sorely disappointed. He just created another one of his waterfalls.

This was driving her nuts now.

She was going to gag him with that spoon if he didn't eat some goddamn soup.

"Yu," Cloud called, clearly taking note of the intense stare she was giving him. Cloud arched a brow at her. "Yu," he repeated. No response. Cloud sighed and stood up from the table. He leaned over and shook Yuffie's shoulder lightly. "Hey, I'm going back to the tents now."

"Huh?" Yuffie snapped out of her reverie. "Oh, ok. I'm coming."

And dinner ended just like that.

But mark her words…

She would see him eat a whole meal if it killed her!

Fast forward to their tents. Cloud had decided that he was going to bathe.

Oh joys.

When Cloud first told her that, Yuffie couldn't have thought less of it. He was bathing? Good for him. Remember to wash underneath your religion because it gets dirty there. And of course she got some nice visions of Cloud's naked hiney, which she then had to wipe quickly from her mind.

The problem came when Cloud told her that she was going to come with him because she smelled like a dead bison. When Yuffie replied, "Over my dead body!" Cloud quickly took that to heart.

So that's how she ended up on Cloud's shoulder's, kicking and howling, with her dirty clothes securely shoved into a bag hanging from his arm. He had _dragged_ her out of her tent, picked her up while she was screaming, and gathered her clothes from inside without her permission. If he had reached any further than he had, he would've found a sport's bra wrapped around his fingers.

"You lech!" Yuffie hollered, knowing that she was gaining more and more attention as they walked by every single tent. "Pervert! Rapist!"

"The hell I am!" Cloud snarled at her. "Just shut up until we get there!"

"Pervert!" Yuffie yelled again, waving her arms wildly. "Sodomite!"

Men had come out of the tents to glare at them. Some cussed at them. Most cat called.

"Going at it again, eh Strife?" A random voice hooted at them.

"Cute ass!" Others yelled.

"Hey, what do they mean _again_?" Yuffie asked. Cloud just groaned and told her to shut up.

"Don't get too raunchy in the water you two!"

"Yeah! This is an AIDs free zone!"

Cloud's shoulders were tense beneath her stomach. Even Yuffie herself could admit to being more than embarrassed by all the comments they were getting. She knew that they looked a little inappropriate, but did everyone have to be so lewd?

"See all the trouble you cause?" Cloud said stiffly. Yuffie couldn't even feel indignant at that. She just tucked her head underneath her arms, which had given up fighting out of humiliation.

"Sorr-" she began, but a loud, obnoxious voice interrupted her.

"And where are you two sneaking off to on this lovely night?"

Baby-face Sora had somehow managed to find them and was now walking leisurely on the left side of Cloud. Riku had somehow slipped quietly on the other side of the blonde. Cloud stiffened and so did Yuffie. She had a feeling that they were about to be sandwiched in a very bad prank.

_'Oh please Cloud, please don't tell them where we're going.' _

"To the lake," he answered rigidly.

_Gah!_ Yuffie bit her lip. She didn't have the courage to look up. She was using Cloud's broad shoulders as a shield for her face. She was very conscious of Riku walking right next to her, and she was terrified that somehow he'd do something to her without Cloud's knowledge.

Yuffie cautioned a glance at Riku and found his startling sea-green eyes watching her. He gave a cheeky smile.

"That's too bad," he said smoothly. "We're going to the mountains. Shame that you can't come."

"I don't fancy sitting in the snow," Cloud sneered, obviously not enjoying their company.

Sora laughed. "We're not just going there to hang around. We're going to meet some ladies."

Yuffie's startled gasp wasn't easy to miss. Ladies? Who the hell would go tromping out in the mountains to meet these two dopes?

Those poor girls better be getting a lot of money for that.

"You probably wouldn't want to come anyways, seeing as you have each other."

Yuffie wanted to yank Riku's pretty, attractive eyes out when he said that.

And then, as Sora and Riku walked away, the silver boy briskly slapped her ass.

Ok.

Forget his eyes.

She was going to tear out his nuts.

"Asshole," she felt Cloud rumble beneath her. She smiled a little, holding onto his warmth, feeling safe in knowing that he would've protected her if anything happened.

"_CLOUD! PUT ME DOWN!"_

Well…

Almost anything.

"You're going to take a bath," Cloud firmly snapped, sounding like a mother trying to get their toddler into the bathtub.

"NO!" Yuffie yelled, legs flailing. Once they had gotten to the water and he had put her down, she had fled like a bat out of hell. Of course he had no problem catching her and dragging her back by her arms. He was now standing knee deep in the water, his arms wrapped around her midsection in an attempt to dip her in. She was like a fish out of water though-**no kidding**-and she just wouldn't stop writhing and flailing.

With her body constantly pushing against him in such a manner…rubbing and writhing…Cloud was being to discover that it was having _adverse _reactions on particular parts of his body.

He dropped the poor girl into the water without a second thought. His mind was blank. A tingling sensation was settling into his nether regions and he didn't want to acknowledge that.

How could…

Cloud couldn't mask his shock.

Did a **_guy _**just elicit that response from him?

Cloud shook his head. What was wrong with him? This young _boy_ made him feel so confused.

Maybe it was better if they didn't bathe. Cloud had always had a considerable amount of self-restraint (yeah right, Yuffie would say), but he wasn't so sure about now. He couldn't trust himself suddenly. He had no idea what he would do if he were stuck in the water with his naked partner.

"I'm not taking off my clothes!" Yuffie yelled in a shrilly manner from behind him. She had seen his shocked face without knowing what the causes. Her only reasoning was…there were leeches in the lake. Or those funny fish that swim up your penis. Whatever it was, there was no way she was going to take off her clothes.

Naked didn't look like it was going to be a problem any time soon.

"You can't wash with your clothes on!" Cloud roared at her, remembering why the hell he was so pissed at her earlier. "Just take them off! I'm not going to look!"

"No!"

Cloud gave her the dirtiest glare he'd ever given. He stomped through the water and right up to Yuffie, who was sitting stubbornly in the water, completely soaked because of how he'd dropped her earlier.

"You.Will.Bathe."

"Make me."

Cloud's eyes widened. Yuffie realized then, as he grabbed her around her middle, that she had definitely said the wrong thing.

"CLOUD! PUT ME DOWN!"

Now he was waist high in the water. Chest high. Yuffie was going to have to climb atop his yellow hair to stay afloat soon.

He dropped her in.

The water was cold and it shocked her lungs. She came blubbering to the surface, short brown hair hanging down like a mop in front of her eyes. She didn't have to part her wet bangs to know that Cloud was nearly laughing at her.

"You suck Strife."

"I told you I wouldn't look."

Yuffie pushed her hair back. Cloud thought she looked like a drowned labrador. She pointed to the shore.

"Then don't look!"

Cloud gave one short chuckle and waded back to shore, where he respectfully turned his back toward her.

"Can't believe I'm doing this…"

Leeches, eat me alive.

She pulled off her t-shirt and ducked below the water to pull off her bra. She glanced back to Cloud, but he was behaving himself. He didn't look like he'd glanced back at all. She turned back to her duties and reached up the water to pull off her pants and undies. Her boots were completely soaked through, and so were Cloud's. She was going to kill him for that later.

She was just going to float in the deep end. She would wash in a safe, no-touching zone. If he got too close…well, Yuffie hoped that wouldn't happen. She wasn't the best of swimmers.

Yuffie sighed, knowing she was on thin ice and that with this night that ice could possibly shatter. She needed a bath though, and somehow bathing with Cloud gave her some sort of secret pleasure. It was one more thing to add to her book of Flirting With Danger.

Cloud, meanwhile, and despite himself, had begun to get particularly antsy. He had promised himself that seeing Yu naked would only lead to bad things, but his twenty-one year old mind told him that it would instead lead to yummy, dirty, and very satiating things.

"I'm going to murder myself," Cloud whispered, glancing down. If his damn mind kept going on the track it was going…well, he'd need the cold water very soon.

_Just one peek. _

"No…"

_What's it going to hurt? You're going to see **it** eventually. _

The blonde sighed. He was losing to himself.

Cloud heard her wading to shallower shore. He glanced back….

Just in time to see the beautiful curve of her back.

And a little more.

* * *

A/N: Mwaha! I said I was going to have them bathe…but it's a cliffy! Ho ho. Can't wait to know just what Cloud saw, eh? 

For any of you that read the old story…Ebon is back! Yay Ebon! He's going to be the "girl" that Yuffie goes to for advice, since there are no actual girls around. He's very feminine and hates doing hard work. Very funny character, and he's all mine!

Ok, now on to the questions…

**Hsumi-** Yes. Ebon is going to be in this version. I love Ebon! He's too precious to just throw away.

**Sakuya- **In my story, Yuffie has short brown hair and brown eyes. It's simple, and none of the other guys have brown eyes so it makes her more unique. She's short (around five foot three, I think) and she's skinny.Just google a picture of her.

**KairiLuv-** I just updated. Haha. And no, **Cloud and Squall are not gay. **Because Yuffie makes them feel a certain way though, they _think _they are. Essentially they aren't though. They just think Yuffie is cute. And is Laguna going to meet Yuffie? Well, I can't answer that one…you'll have to see for yourself.

**sakuya-kaleido- **The one with the long brown hair (the one that Laguna was referring to) was Rinoa. The blonde girl (if you're curious) was Quistis.

**Music Lover Always**- You didn't even ask a question but I'm talking to you anyways. Haha. I never finished FF8, so I never really figured out that Laguna was his dad. Wow. Now I realllyyy want to finish it.

**Daemon Velvet**- The story summary says this is a Squall/Yuffie/Cloud. Meaning it's a love triangle. You'll just have to keep reading to find out if Yuffie goes with Squall or Cloud!

**An-obscure-flaw-** No; you're not weird for being excited. In some weird way I really wanted to give Yuffie a bath too. The evil sadist in me just really wants to put Yuffie in a veryyy uncomfortable position.

Is that it? I have no idea. There were probably more of you, but I began to get confused between the old reviews and the new ones. Whoops. If I forgot you (which I probably did) just review again and ask the question. Again.

When I edit in the preview box, sometimes it squishesthewordstogetherlikethis. I'm sorry and I will try to be aware of that.

Also, I do NOT know how to fix the problem of "if you reviewed the story once (logged in), you can't do it again." I'm sorry. The only option (that I know of) is to delete the story and then repost everything. If anybody knows how to solve this, please tell me.

Review! Or just read. I know you're reading, and that's what really matters to me.


	7. I Know You

Warrior, I Am

Chapter 7: I Know You

Disclaimer: I own Jing and Ebon. Those two together are probably worth two cents.

A/N: I changed the page breaks because it's easier for me. Does that matter to anyone?

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_Cloud heard her wading to shallower shore. He glanced back…._

_Just in time to see the beautiful curve of her back._

_And a little more._

0-0

"_Yuffie, for heaven's sakes, stop fidgeting."_

_The young, thirteen-year-old brunette sighed dramatically. She had her fists pitted at her waist and wore an everlasting frown. Her foot tapped impatiently on the hard wooden floor of her home._

"_I don't want to!" She said in an immature manner. "A dress? Bullshit! What's wrong with jeans and sneakers?"_

_She received a slap across the face for her insolence. "It's called fine dining for a reason, you imprudent wreck. Now hold still while I pin up your front." _

"_What's wrong with my front?" Her cheek was smarting painfully, but Yuffie had learned to never complain about it. She wasn't going to admit that either way._

_Her mother was using bobby pins to bind the material together. "Yuffie, you have no chest. I need to put this all together so the material doesn't hang out like an upside-down umbrella." _

"_I do so have a breasts."_

_Her mother chuckled. "Oh, my dear, you can easily be mistaken for a man."_

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"Stop staring!"

Whoops.

Hey, he wasn't _staring._

Just looking.

And Yuffie had caught him.

"Oh god," Yuffie said to herself as she waded more into the water. That big, ogrish liar. She was never taking his word for anything ever again. _I won't look. _Whatever. That lie could burn down a building.

He'd seen **it**.

Really, it was her fault. She should've known better than to even take off her clothes in the first place. Even more logical, she could've prevented it all if she had just bathed days before.

But no, she sat it out just because rumors told her that Vincent hunted at night.

"I hate you Vincent," she said, because she'd already hurtled all possible curses on Cloud.

What was Cloud going to say? Oh, you have unnaturally large breasts? Holy snausages, you're a woman? Her breasts were small, but not that small. She was decent enough that it separated her from a man, at least.

She could blame it on a freak accident, maybe. Or a disease. Hey, my right boob is big and fluffy, but look, my left one is all swell. It's because of a terrible oil spill when I was a child….dog mauling…terrible breast cancer.

Sometimes Yuffie wished Sora were her partner. Surely he'd believe every one of those at the drop of a dime.

Yuffie placed her clothing on the edge of a small outcropping, about six feet from shore. Her feet barely touched the ground in that area, but it kept her far away from Cloud. It kept her right boob away from him too.

Her clothes were rolled up into a tight ball, with her bra and underwear at the center. Sora and Riku were out that night, so Yuffie just hoped that no one else was bored enough to come and steal her clothes.

She glanced back at Cloud. He had conveniently turned his back and immersed himself in picking at his nails. '_Just like the lying culprit he is,'_ Yuffie thought grumpily.

"I'm done," Yuffie hollered, wading back so that the water was up to her neck. "I so **glad **to see that you didn't **look**."

Cloud turned his head toward her with narrowed eyes. So the little brat was going to put him on the guilt trip, eh? Well, Cloud definitely wasn't going to let Yuffie one-up him. Besides, he had blackmail concerning an unnaturally large body part…

The blonde walked deeper into the water, the waves lulling gently against his chest. He was only a foot away from Yuffie, and to compensate for this sudden closeness, Yuffie edged back so that the water was up to her eyeballs. She glared back at him heatedly (partially because that was nearly the only asset she had sticking out of the water now).

Cloud stared at her for a moment before asking, in the most blunt manner she'd ever heard,

"What's wrong with your chest?"

Well. At least he didn't say boob.

Everywhere around the world, little five-year-old-boys were cheering him on for his brave question.

Yuffie wanted to start off with her dog-mauling story, but she couldn't tell it if her mouth was submerged in the water. Also, Yuffie knew that _un-_submerging her mouth would mean moving closer to Cloud.

Of course she wasn't ready to do that.

So instead Yuffie swam to the side, her eyes looking like two brown buoys on the surface of the water. She was now a safe distance away from Cloud, and her mouth was out of the water too!

Cloud watched her with a slanted look on his face. He wasn't sure what his partner had just done, but he probably wouldn't call it swimming. Maybe a cross between floundering and disco dancing, but not swimming.

"Hey Cloud?"

"What?"

"Why haven't you taken _your _clothes off?"

"Ah…well…"

She expected an answer from him eventually, but all she received was a drawn-out silence. Really, did he always have to be so mysterious all the time? She was sure by now that their relationship had progressed a little further than _that_.

Yuffie sighed from five feet away. "Isn't this what you call a stand-off?"

Cloud shrugged. "In all fairness, I asked first."

"_In all fairness_, I've already seen you half-naked."

True enough. Every morning Yuffie got to witness the spectacle that was Cloud's bare back. And Cloud's feet, if that counted for something extra. It just didn't make enough sense for Cloud to suddenly be Mr. Modesty. Being too _ugly_ certainly didn't fit for someone like Cloud.

"I took a bath yesterday," Cloud answered, in true evade-the-situation fashion.

"You're still going to have to take your clothes off to dry them."

"I can do that later."

She growled in frustration. Could he be any more infuriating? Speaking with Strife was a lost cause, definitely. "Do you always speak with one sentence?" She demanded, quickly catching onto his aggravating trend.

"Hardly. I do it to rile you up." He glanced over to the shore. His bored eyes sparkled suddenly. Smiled wickedly. "The soap is over there."

"Huh?"

"The soap. You need it to wash, don't you?"

Yuffie's mouth could've hit lake bottom. Oh no, he didn't. How could he do something so **cruel**? Cloud! That boob-oogling male! That's exactly why he had _opportunely_ left the soap to sit right at the water's edge.

It was situations like these that made Yuffie question how she had survived camp thus far.

"I don't need soap," Yuffie said easily. "The salt in the water breaks down…bacteria…"

"Sure it does."

Bless Cloud's soul to not mention the fact that they were in a fresh water lake. Or that yes, she very direly did need soap. Even in the water her armpits seemed determined to let off an uncanny smell.

"I'll get the soap if you take off your clothes," Yuffie bargained, waggling her eyebrows at him, as if that would sway him immensely. Hey, perhaps it would. She didn't know what would catch this man's fancy. To her, all cards were on the table when it came to Cloud.

"Fine. What's wrong with your chest?"

"Why do you keep going back to that?" Yuffie demanded, her whole body heating up. Somehow she knew what it felt like to be the pig hanging over the pit fire, doomed to simply sit there and roast. Was Cloud just doing this for his own enjoyment? Did Cloud **enjoy** making her squirm? Or was he really that clueless to think that she was still a male?

Yuffie, by now, felt like keeping up the act was becoming redundant with him, but she did it anyways.

"Are you…snipped?"

She turned her head so slowly that she could hear creaking. Her stare remained on him for a long while. "Excuse me?"

Cloud shifted uncomfortably in the water, still fully clothed (damn him). "Well you can't be…" He stared at her, waiting for her to pick up the pieces. She didn't. "You can't be male with breasts that big…"

"I am male."

Weak. Unconvincing.

She didn't know who was more uncomfortable-Cloud or her.

"Well…" Cloud was fumbling for words now. "Male…_at one point_…"

Oh.

Finally Yuffie found the bread at the end of the breadcrumb's trail. So **_that's_** what he thought? Is that what "snipped" meant?

"Oh gawd," Yuffie bawled out, covering her eyes. "You…"

Cloud looked alarmed now. He moved slightly closer to her, to which Yuffie hurriedly (and angrily) put up a hand to tell him to come no further. Her right hand blocked out her eyes, nose, and middle of her mouth. The hand that was held out to Cloud trembled with restrained resentfulness.

"Well," Cloud began, seeing that the Yuffie Barrier was high up and in effect. "It's not like-I mean-not that it _bothers _me or anything-"

"I DID NOT GET MY FLOPPY BITS TURNED INTO A VAGINA!"

Yuffie didn't know she could holler that loud, but apparently certain situations flew her to octaves higher.

Cloud looked more flabbergasted than before. His face contorted in desperation, his finger flying up to his grimly said lips- the universal sign for 'shut the hell up!'

"Don't say-that stuff-so loud…" he said, moving closer, but then remembering the very important Yuffie Barrier. He stepped back again to placate her.

"What stuff?" Yuffie said in a shrilly voice. "What did I say? Vagina? Does that bother you? VAGINA?"

Cloud glared at her. "Now you're just being childish-"

"VAGINA!"

"Stop it," Cloud hissed. "You're going attract attention and-"

"VAGINA! PUSS-"

Cloud's hand flew over her mouth. Yuffie had been having so much fun screaming women's genitalia that she failed to realize how fast Cloud had moved in on her. Now he was behind her, one hand on her offensive mouth and the other wrapped securely around her naked waist. If she were asked to name a more harrowing and uncomfortable situation, she wouldn't have been able to.

Yuffie promised herself that if the arm around her waist moved at all, she would bolt. After all, it was situated between the two areas that completely gave away what she was.

Unless Cloud was still entertaining the "snipped" idea. Yes, it was a big blow to her pride, but it might prove to be her one sanctuary.

She just hoped it would come to such degrading levels.

"You need to wash your mouth with bleach." Cloud's breath fanned the top of her brown head. She grew as rigid as the stones beneath her toes. She feared at if she moved at all Cloud would know instantly what she really was.

"Den my tong wood turn white," Yuffie said behind his large hand, effectively slobbering all over it. Disgusting, yes, but it kept her mind off of things a little.

"Hm." Cloud's chest rumbled against her back-like a giant purring kitten. She had to keep herself in check every second so as not to just give into him and fall right back against him.

"Yes, you're tongue," he said. "And your yellow teeth too."

"I dun have yello teets!"

Cloud's laughter shook her body, and also in turn made his arm around her waist move a little too high for comfort. She knew that logically she should just brave it out and act like it didn't happen, but her mind panicked. Having a man that close to her breasts went way beyond her comfort zone and she acted instantly.

Digging her toes into the gravel of the lake as best she could, Yuffie scrambled away from Cloud in a way that would make a rat proud. The water pushed against her more than she would have liked, giving her a great feel of lethargy. Water managed to get into her mouth in her grand escape attempt, and up her nose too. For a few seconds Yuffie felt pathetically like a drowning animal.

Cloud, bless him, wasn't keen on letting her go though. He easily wrenched her from her drowning-puppy state and hauled her out-right back into his arms. The only thing that made it worse was that now she was facing him, and that somehow he had dragged them closer to shore so that the water lapped right at the tips of her breasts. If she decided to do a little hippity-hop, Cloud would get a wonderful view of her nubs.

"Yu, stop." Yuffie hadn't realized she was struggling against him. All she was registering was that she was hacking up nasty lake water and that she was right up against this handsome blonde.

"Yu, it's ok."

_Hack. Hack_.

"It's ok that…you're different."

The water was nearly gone from her nose, so Yuffie was at least able to form an intelligible response. "How is it ok?" _Hack. Hack._ "How is anything ok?"

Cloud wasn't diverting his eyes, which he had a tendency to do in embarrassing situations. He stared straight into her big brown eyes. In contrast, his eyes seemed to shine a bright green on that particular night.

"I know."

"Know what?"

All the water was gone and the world was looking sickeningly clear. She realized that she didn't want this reality. Not here with him, when he was so close to her and possibly was about to say the thing that would break her. She knew in that moment that all the "snipped" business was his way of teasing her. He **knew**. She suspected that he _always_ knew.

So for how long had he been planning to string her along?

Cloud brushed some hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "I'm not going to play along with you any more, Yu."

"I don't get it." Of course. Play dumb and she wouldn't have to face the truth.

Cloud frowned, if not a bit fondly, at her. "I'm not that dense, Yu. It became more obvious every day."

So far Yuffie had decided that acting completely unaware was protecting her pretty well. Somehow she had developed the mentality that if she feinted stupidity it would rub off on everyone around her.

So I'll feint. Again. And again.

"_What _was obvious?"

As Yuffie said this, she didn't think about how well Cloud would take it. She figured he would just sigh and say, "forget it". That's what he usually did when things got too complicated for his liking. He'd just slither out of it with such grace that Yuffie never recognized it as "slithering". But she could see it know. "The rose-colored glasses have come off," as people would say.

She supposed she could say the same thing for him too.

"This."

And then…

Her world went quiet.

His hand was on her breast.

"S-stop-"

What was this? Was this supposed to be happening?

It was a tingly feeling, one that left her feeling like a great black hole and a swirling vortex all at once. The water was cold but his large, expert hand made everything feel warmer than it was supposed to be. He made it feel as if it was wrong and right at the same time.

She _knew _it was wrong but it _felt _right.

She couldn't afford to say things like that though.

"Why are you doing this?" Yuffie asked, lips quivering. Cloud was staring at them in a curious fashion, and Yuffie wasn't sure what she would do if he decided to kiss them.

"I could ask you the same question."

"In all fairness, I asked first."

"Hah," Cloud murmured, smiling a rare smile at her. "You're too amusing for your own good." He sobered up. "But really, Yu…I won't tell."

"Tell that I'm snipped?" Somehow Yuffie couldn't let go. She just kept falling back on stupidity, hoping _stupidly_ that it would come and catch her and save her from the fall.

Cloud was tugging her away from all that though.

"Yu," he said in all seriousness, and Yuffie noticed distractedly that his hand was still resting on her boob. If her breast could talk she was pretty positive that it would be moaning. "Do I have to spell everything out for you?"

"Maybe."

He inhaled deeply, sucking in his bottom lip. His hand left her breast and Yuffie had to make her cheeks bleed to prevent herself from mewling in protest. _'Where in the world did that come from?'_ He suddenly wrapped his arms around her, and she found her nose buried in his soaking wet black t-shirt. She was virtually jumping in alarm and was nearly beside herself in fright. This action didn't bother Cloud though, who seemed to have given up on hiding what they were doing.

She felt his lips by her ear. She was trembling terribly. He legs were like rubber noodles. "I won't tell anyone that you're a woman."

"I'm not a woman."

She could feel Cloud sigh against her. "Yes you are, Yu."

What was she supposed to do? She didn't exactly expect her big "surprise" to turn out like this. What was she waiting for? A drum roll? Rockets exploding? Fireworks? She didn't just hide something for a big whopping week and then have it found out about so hastily. She was expecting to last a good month, at best. Maybe she was just a poor actor.

"I am not," she repeated, maybe because she was still holding out for the fireworks and maybe some death-bringers. How did it happen so quickly anyways? What happened to the conversation about salt water and bacteria? Somehow they had managed to go to innocent to indecently uncomfortable in a few minutes.

Cloud really was blunt.

"Yu," Cloud said, a little frustrated now. It was getting awkward arguing with him while being held by him at the same time. "I know you are. Don't you think I'd feel a bulge by now?"

"Hey, I have a low libido. It's a very common problem-"

"Kisaragi!" Cloud didn't even want to hold her now apparently, because he pulled away and held her at arms length. "Just let go, all right?" His eyes were almost pleading but the rest of his face remained stoic. Quickly seeing that Yuffie wasn't being swayed he added, "I'm not going to tell. Do I _look_ like the talkative type?"

She didn't even have to answer that.

"Ok." She sighed too, just like he had done several times. "I am…not."

"Yu."

"Sorry. Knee-jerk reaction. But do I have to admit it?"

Cloud glanced around quickly (she didn't miss that). Then he swiftly pulled her closer and gave her a small, fatherly peck on the head.

"No. You don't."

Yuffie's cheeks tinted but it was too dark for him to see that. She simply smiled at him and waded over to where her clothes were, happy to be out of the situation. She also felt relieved somehow, even though she knew that she shouldn't be. It was late though and all she wanted to think about was being safely tucked away in her tent.

"Yu?"

She turned around, and it was like meeting him for the first time again-as Yuffie. "Yes?"

"You still need to bathe."

Glare.

"Jerk!"

"Ah. I know."

0-0

A/N: Very short, but needed none-the-less. Mostly conversation, and that was nice because conversation is always easy to write.

WOW. That's what I said to myself. I actually wasn't planning on revealing her to Cloud so quickly. Their relationship felt like it was built on useless pretenses though, so I decided to shatter it. Besides, I recently thought of a **devilish** (I'm so proud of it I can cackle) plot twist that requires Cloud to know about Yuffie.

I know Yuffie's reaction was weak and unbelievable at the end. Like, "how could she act so calm about it?" (How could _Cloud_ just come out and say that so brusquely too?) My reasoning though was that they've been sparring **non-stop** all day, so they were both considerably tired. I guess for this chapter you can say…being tired isn't the same as being drunk, but it's close enough. They did things maybe they wouldn't have done if they were all rested up and perky. They're definitely going to realize what they did the next morning though, and that's when the real reactions come.

I'm kinda just throwing this question out at large…do most of you hate Squall? That seems to be the vibe that I'm getting. I'm sorry if that's because I'm portraying him badly. He'll get more of a likeable personality soon though.

Next chapter: Yuffie and Cloud have some awkward moments and realize that today may be the last day they get to spend with one another…

Read and review pweeze!


	8. Drown in Ignorance

Warrior, I Am

Chapter 8: Drown in Ignorance

Disclaimer: Mrh-herr

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"Squall!"

The man cried in abundant happiness as he threw his arms around his son. Laguna shifted his body from side to side as if he was twirling around a rag doll. His son, in turn, looked pale.

"It's Leon." The commander said with a slight trace of venom. And then, if he had suddenly remembered his manners, Squall added a curt, "Father."

Laguna sighed and gave his son a hefty slap on the back. Squall took it with narrowed eyes but did not say anything. "Yes, yes. _Leon._ You know that people are going to say your first and last name are nearly identical."

"Yes," Squall said tiredly. "But no one knows my first name, so that's not a problem."

Laguna laughed. "But Vinnie knows it, eh, eh?" He elbowed the tall, silent man, whose expression was unreadable. His mouth was blocked out and his red eyes were hard to see behind his bangs. Squall knew him well enough though to know that calling him "Vinnie" wasn't a way to get on his good side.

"Well, I see you've been keeping the camp quite tidy," Laguna started once he had released his son. He glanced back at Squall and Vincent, who were standing there mutely and not giving any sort of response. "You know, you two could have a mime act-you're so quiet. You make this place look like a morgue-"

"The training schedule is on the desk," Squall said icily. "They have twenty minutes to get ready in the morning, thirty minutes for lunch, and-do not touch my lamp, Laguna-forty minutes to eat and wash."

Laguna, who had been standing over one of Squall's desk lamps and tugging curiously at the ruffles, put his hand over his mouth in shock.

"Twenty minutes?" Laguna quipped, seeming appalled. "That gives them enough time to slip into their underwear! I'm surprised they haven't all dropped dead by now. Vincent," he nodded to the silent man. "Go tell Auron to give them all an hour."

"An hour-"

"And you!" Laguna smiled at his son and gave him a pat on the head. Squall spent no time in pushing his hand away and fixing him with a glare. "Get changed, _Leon_. I am going to adjust things a bit and you're part of it."

Squall sneered.

"I'm sure I am."

0-0

There were always things in life that were a given. Dying, for one thing. Having parents, for another. Those were things you couldn't change no matter how hard you tried or fought against it. People said immortality existed and that orphans _technically_ had no parents, but those were either untrue or too practical.

It was a given that Yuffie Kisaragi was not very good at many things. She was lazy, for one thing. She never practiced her martial arts so therefore failed miserably at it. She did not particularly excel at anything extraordinary, like singing, chess playing, or even doing laundry. She was spoiled at home and did nothing important-except for the occasional cat rescuing from the trees.

All in all, Yuffie wasn't much (looks and otherwise).

Aside from all that though…it was widely known that the young Kisaragi daughter did poorly under certain conditions. She became a hellion during that "time of the month" and she was very, _very_ hard to work with when she got less than eight hours of sleep. (It went against her Laziness Code). Plus-referring to the last thought-she also had a tendency to have an uncontrollable mouth when she was tired.

Being tired equated to being drunk for Yuffie Kisaragi. Get her down and tired on any given day and the field is wide open, honey. She unquestionably took Truth or Dare to the next level.

So when Yuffie woke up on the morning of the twenty-first of October, feeling like she had been blindsided by a truck, she was pretty sure she knew what had happened.

"Oh…my head…like a fried egg…"

And it _did_ feel like somebody had gone inside her brain and scrambled everything up horribly. She felt like somebody who had too much to drink and couldn't quite remember the events of the night before.

Yuffie groggily felt for her clothes, her hand wrapping instantly around her drab white shirt. She held it in front of her, nearly falling face forward in the process. What had happened last night? Why did she feel so **tired**?

And then the stench.

No. The smell.

The smell of soap.

"Soap..?" Yuffie pulled her shirt closer, sniffing it experimentally. Sure enough, her nose hadn't been deceiving her. The article no longer smelled like rotten mushrooms. Apparently it had been cleaned and scrubbed (but it was still a little damp). All of the dirt stains were gone and it looked relatively new.

Yuffie frowned, the gears in her head finally cranking into action. To help move along her thought processes, the young girl began sniffing _herself._ Her armpits, her hair, and other unmentionable places that go far beyond this story's rating. It was by doing this that Yuffie quickly figured out that she, too, was as spotless and dirt free as her shirt.

But _how_?

Yuffie smacked the palm of her hand against her forehead. "Dumb me…" Of course she _knew_ how she had gotten clean. That was like asking where babies came from. The right question to ask was **_how_**-and in her situation, when.

Not to mention, with **who**.

Yuffie sighed, realizing that before she answered all the cleaning questions she'd first have to put on some clothes. Discarding the damp shirt, Yuffie fished out an extra bra (black in color, because for some reason her white one was missing) and another shirt. It wasn't the standard white that she was issued, but every one else was breaking the dress code so she figured she was pretty safe. Her other white shirt was damp anyways.

"Ok now…what the hell…where's my pants?"

Her pants were missing. Both of them.

"Fer gawd's sakes," Yuffie muttered, wrapping her blanket securely around her waist. "There's a pants bandit roaming these lands…"

Yuffie crawled haphazardly out of her tent, donned in a baggy black shirt and a large blanket that trailed behind her like a majestic dress. She made a crooked u-turn toward her partner's tent, picking up rocks and dirt in her blanket as she did so.

She really didn't have much of a plan beyond asking for an extra pair of pants. Cloud was tall, but he wasn't unnaturally obese, so Yuffie was sure that his pants would be decent enough. She didn't consider how he would think about her barging into his tent and stealing his pants. He usually was asleep at this time so she figured she wasn't invading his privacy at all.

When she pushed the tent flap open, on her knees and still a little disoriented, she was met was a blank stare. A blank, deep-bags-under-eyes stare.

"C-Cloud? You're **_awake_**?"

But Yuffie didn't wait for an answer. She couldn't because her mind was instantly filled with something else.

She glanced around Cloud's tent, at his blanket, at his bags, and especially at his tent floor. Her mouth hung so far down that she was sure somebody could use her orifice as a basketball hoop.

Her pants. Her clean, black training pants were in Cloud's tent, sitting on one of his bags. It was spread out neatly for drying and looked a lot cleaner than it used to be. She also noted that her other pair was on the opposite side of the tent, strewn out in the same fashion.

That wasn't even the worst of it. (Finding out that Cloud was the Pants Bandit didn't even take the cake). The worst of it was lying in his blanket, barely noticeable because it looked as if it had been tossed around during the night. It lay inconspicuously in the folds of his blanket, half of it barely peeking out. A normal man would pass by it and barely register what it was.

But Yuffie was a woman, and she certainly knew what the hell it was.

Her bra was sitting in Cloud's blanket. Sitting there as if it fucking lived there.

Cloud's eyes followed hers. Locked onto the bra. Looked back at her. "Oh shit," he said. He fell back into his pillow, draping his arm over his eyes. "Oh fucking shit…"

Yuffie's mouth worked open and closed for a full two minutes. Then her senses came to her and she scrambled out of the tent, utterly terrified. That's what she was, wasn't she? Terrified, unsure. Completely and downright confused.

"Oh gawd," she whispered, her hands over her eyes, back in her own tent. "Oh gawd, oh gawd, oh gawd…" Her face went deeper into her hands and she flung her blanket over her form, huddling safely underneath it.

'_What did we do? Why is my **BRA **sitting in his tent? And my pants? And-ohmigod!-do I still have-ack! Do I still have my cherry? Am I a prostitute now? WhatamIgoingtodo? What-'_

Yuffie's thoughts ran five miles a minute. Underneath the darkness of her blanket she was frantically pulling at her hair and in near tears. was all coming back to her now. How they had fought all day. That weird boy named Ebon. The time at the lake. The boob-fondling.

The secret-telling.

Cloud _knew_. Cloud Strife knew of her secret. An outsider. A somebody who now held her fate in his big, handsome hands. A man who could, with one whisper to the ear, cause her to be killed on the spot.

Why had she been so careless and dumb?

And why the **HELL **was her bra sleeping with Cloud?

"Yu?"

Ack! Poo! Shit! Poo Smoothie!

"Go away!" Yuffie moaned, clutching her pillow to her chest. She was driving herself into such a frenzy that she was sure her heart was going to explode. At that very moment her chest felt like it was trying to contain a hot air balloon.

"Yu," Cloud tried again, sounding tired and even a little desperate. "We need to talk." She heard him inhale deeply as he added, "Please. I haven't slept all night."

"Am I still a virgin?" Yuffie cried out hysterically. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?"

"Shh!" She heard her tent flap open and she curled instinctively into the tightest ball she could manage. "I didn't do anything to you." She felt his body warmth close to her, and his voice sounded even closer. Slowly a hand was placed on her pillow, directly on her butt.

"Ahh!" Yuffie shot out from under her blanket. She glared at him. "Keep your hands off of my butt! You perv-"

"I'm sorry," he interrupted with his hands in the air. "You were under…and I couldn't see…"

Yuffie gasped and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You touched my breast!"

Cloud's expression became morbid. "I know…"

"And you…you **_know_**!"

"I know…"

She glared at him. "Is that all you can say?" Cloud just sent her an empty look. He really did look like he hadn't slept all night. Yuffie shook her finger at him. "If you tell-if you tell-!"

"I won't."

"**But **if you _do_-!" She gave him her most wretched look. "I will haunt you. I will emasculate you. I will put your lawn gnomes into dirty, socially horrific positions."

Cloud exhaled softly. "Anything but that."

The blonde man didn't speak for a while. Even as he attempted to keep up airs with her, he was slowly tilting off to sleep. His eyes would close for two seconds at a time and then blearily blink open. Also-and Yuffie wasn't sure he was aware of this-but he was leaning so far to the left that he looked ready to fall over.

'_Maybe I should end this before he starts snoozing…'_

Yuffie's finger, little by little, fell down, down, down. She laid it down with a defeated sigh, looking off to the side. "You know…"

"I know."

Cloud had slurred his words a little, a sign that he was nearly into Sleepsville. As she watched him waver from side to side, completely unaware that he looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Yuffie began to feel depressed-resentful, even. She was trying to comprehend what could be a life-altering situation for her and here he was, trying to catch up on some snooze time. Yuffie would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous of Cloud's blasé attitude toward it all. It was as if he was saying, "Been there, done that."

In some ways she hated him for not caring more.

She slowly looked up at him. They were both sitting in the cramped space of her tent, in what people would probably say was an intimate position. Yuffie sat with her legs folded beneath her, and Cloud leaned toward her, his legs going off to the side, barely missing hers.

"Yu," Cloud tried, reaching toward her. He had miraculously (but temporarily) shaken himself out of his sleepy stupor. He pressed his thumb against her cheek, and she wondered why his thumb felt wet. "I won't-don't cry, Yu-I won't say anything. I promise."

Yuffie's mouth was parted slightly and her chest was heaving. She hadn't even realized she was crying. Now that Cloud pointed it out to her she felt like an idiot. Her hand came up to cover her face, and Cloud quickly removed his hand. She pulled her knees up to her chest and cried quietly. Her shoulders shook like minute earthquakes.

Cloud watched her with a pained expression. He was inexperienced at comforting people and this situation felt like it was way over his head. What was he supposed to do? Hold her? He was sure that intimate contact was the last thing she wanted. He wasn't exactly a pro at words either.

"Yu, please…just stop…"

"H-how long?"

Yuffie was trying her best to stutter out words. She managed to get out 'how', but 'long' ended up sounding like a howl.

"What?"

"When d-did yoo-" Yuffie lost herself to sobbing. Cloud got the point.

"Your voice," Cloud began. "You sounded like-" he stopped and watched her cry for a moment. Maybe insulting her wasn't the best thing at the moment. "You just didn't sound like a real guy."

"T-that's it?"

"There's other things…" He inched a little closer. Yuffie didn't begin to break out hysterically, so he figured she was ok with it. "Like how you look. You're…" Yuffie's head crept up until she was staring at him through puffy red eyes. She looked heartbroken.

Cloud's warm hand came over her hand, even though the action was a little hesitant and awkward on his part. The heat seared all the way down to her toes. "You're…" He bit his lip. "Ver prity."

"P-pretty?"

He nodded. It was the first time she didn't give him a vacant stare and have to ask, "Huh?"

She frowned. "I'm a bad actor, aren't I?"

"Only a little."

Yuffie found her pillow and wedged it between her chest and her knees. "Doesn't it bother you? That I'm a girl?"

Cloud ran this hands through his long blonde locks. "It does." He sunk back into thought and Yuffie had to nod her head and wave her arm expectantly in the air to bring him back. "When I finally figured it out, I wasn't really sure what to do. I don't even know what to do now. I felt like if I pretended it wasn't there I wouldn't have to do anything. That I wouldn't have to…protect you."

"I can defend myself," Yuffie sniffed.

"Adequately?"

Yuffie bit her lip. "Good point."

Cloud continued undeterred. "Even though we have this…agreement now, I can't protect you completely, Yu." He regarded her seriously. "My abilities are limited, and if anything…major happened, I won't be able to do much."

He couldn't bring himself to say 'execution'. That if Yuffie was forced to the ground under a blade that he wouldn't know how much he'd be able to do to save her. He wasn't a superhero. He wasn't any where near capable of fending off a whole army.

"I don't really _need_ to be protected," Yuffie insisted, clutching her pillow tighter. "Just teach me how to talk better. And act better. And how to walk. It'll be ok then." She bit her lip. "I think."

They were silent then. Yuffie chewed savagely on her bottom lip and Cloud endlessly ran his hand through his hair. They both avoided each other's eyes now. The comfortable atmosphere that she had known for the past few days was gone. They weren't male and male partners anymore. They were a man and a woman sitting in a tent with no supervision. Yuffie felt like her parents were going to barge in on her on any moment. Or more likely, her commander.

Yuffie screeched. "Oh fuzz!" She looked at Cloud with saucer eyes. "What time is it?"

"Huh?"

"Snap out of it! And _wake **up**_!" She threw her blanket off her body, scrambling around in her baggy shirt and her green underwear. Cloud, despite all of his noblest attempts, couldn't help but draw his eyes toward said article.

"Cloud, we're going to be late!" She looked over her shoulder quickly, noticing how his eyes weren't quite on her face. "**_Cloud_**!" She hollered, wanting to slap him a good one. "Go get my b-" She stuttered. Was he looking at…? "CLOUD! You pervert! I'll get it myself! Gawd!"

Yuffie crawled out of her tent on her knees, again wrapped in her blanket. The air was cold and all of her hairs seemed to stand on end. Even her blanket couldn't sustain her for much longer.

"Should've asked why my pants were there," she muttered, just as she hobbled over two large lumps in the ground. Very lumpy, indeed. The "lumps" happened to be covered in study leather boots.

Yuffie stopped, her feet perching comfortably on said lumps. She let her brown eyes wander from the shoes up to the long red coat. A large belt held what appeared to be an even large bottle of…alcohol? One arm hung in a sling and sat above the bottle listlessly. (Yuffie wondered if it really was useless.) Above that there was a sturdy man whose mouth she couldn't see. Even though it wasn't Vincent, she was having a hard time believing this wasn't his twin. The man seemed to be frowning at her, because his eyes were crinkled behind his small, round sunglasses.

"Having fun?"

"A plethora of it," Yuffie said quite smartly. She always had a problem with respect. Being in the military didn't seem to deter that.

The man arched his brow at her. It was then that she noticed the man only possessed one eye. The other was sealed shut by a large scar running down his face. He also had graying hair, she noted. Was he as old as her father?

"Wonderful," he said flatly. "Training starts in half an hour."

"Half an hour?"

"Yes; the other half you have spent on your 'plethora' of fun."

"I have, haven't I?" She continued to crawl into Cloud's tent. The man didn't kick her or yell at her so she assumed he was used to dealing with kids like her. She heard him wander away to tell the rest of the men about the schedule change. She would have to remember to avoid him in the future-just like Vincent the Night Wanderer.

He could be the One-Armed, One-Eyed Alcohol Man.

"OAOEAM," Yuffie muttered to herself as she slipped on her bra and pants inside of Cloud's tent. He hadn't come by to ogle at her so her next guess was that he had fallen asleep. It didn't bother her as much now though because she had a thirty whole minutes to shake him awake. She was pretty positive I wouldn't be this hard this time around.

"Why do we have a whole hour anyways?"

0-0

"**YOU WILL MARRY A WOMAN!**"

"Ah. So I see you got my message."

Squall closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. '_Any time, painkillers. You can kick in at any time..'_ "Yes, I did."

Squall's elder sat himself comfortably at Squall's former desk. Laguna would be occupying its space now. Squall was to move out to a smaller tent, but not minute size that Yuffie and company had to fit into. Because he was of higher rank he still received a decent sized tent.

Laguna had already made himself at home. The papers, which Squall habitually skewed around the room, were all set into neat piles with their own dividers and paperweights. There were many more lamps to brighten the room and a comely picture of his favorite Songstress Yuna to rest on his table. A little charm guarding against demons was hung at the tent's peak and hung down exasperatingly between Squall's eyes.

"What are you up to?"

Laguna blinked a lot when he lied. At that very moment his eyes were opening and closing as fast as automatic shutters. "Can't I just wish for the best of my son?"

"You can wish," Squall said monotonously. "That's all it will ever be."

The older man took a spin around in his swivel chair (which he had hauled out just so he could sit in it and twirl around for Squall's annoyance) and avoided answering. The face of Yuna the singer spun by him nine, ten, eleven times.

"Will you stop that."

Laguna brought him chair to a jolting stop. His eyes swam a little but Squall looked sicklier than he did. His son appeared to be on the limits of barfing. He smiled secretly. He was the only one, aside from Squall's mother, that knew that Squall could not take a lot of motion of any kind. As a child, he couldn't even go on the Ferris wheel without yawning in Technicolor. Even watching his father spin had sent him into a tizzy. He had been enslaved to go onto a roller coaster once, and it didn't have the happiest ending.

"So." Laguna watched him carefully. Squall was now dizzy and unable to properly shoot comebacks at his father. Cruel, he admitted, but it always worked in deterring his stubborn son-which was why every chair in the house conveniently swiveled. "I have some plans for you."

"Of course you do." Squall's brain felt like a ping-pong ball. Oh, how he hated his father for preying on his weakness. He was just lucky that the old badger was kind enough to not spew his secret to everyone. He had a feeling that he'd have plenty less respect if his soldiers knew he couldn't go on a roller coaster without going comatose.

"As my lovely note has stated, you are required-my boy, if you need to throw up I have an airline bag for you-" He shook a tiny white and blue-tinted bag at Squall. Squall just shook his hand and tried to calm his screaming headache. "As I was saying, you are _required_ to marry. You have to."

"Why the hell-" Squall stopped and put a hand briefly over his mouth, unable to complete the sentence. Laguna wanted to chuckle but found that often angered his son badly, which only ended up with him throwing up all the faster.

"It's _required_ because you need to carry on the Leonhart line. This isn't just about continued existence for us, Squall."

"Leon."

"There's other things that play into it too. Government, for example. They trust our family. To help maintain order and to give them a suitable military heir you need to-"

"Screw some girl's brains out," Squall said flatly, his hand still perched precariously beneath his chin in case his bile started to rise. His father sighed and shook his head. Squall always had a knack for saying the most blunt, terrible things.

"That's not it, _Leon_. We're the upper class, don't you get it? We marry to show that we're still powerful. We marry because it means that we are capable of surviving for thousands of years."

"Even if the marriage is loveless? Is it still powerful then? Does it count even through a divorce?"

Laguna threw himself in a circle one more time. When he came back around Squall looked ready to murder him. "Well, I'm hoping that it won't come to a divorce."

"It will."

"Just listen." His son was giving him little leeway. Laguna fiddled idly with a cube paperweight. Blue and green oil lolled back and forth on the inside of it. "I'm giving you a choice. You can choose any woman that suits you. I will not object, even if she is a prostitute or has a disgusting harelip. Whoever you want, go for it."

"What's the catch?"

"You have a month."

Squall nearly lost his stomach. "One fucking month?"

"If you choose the right woman, she could be courted in a day."

"I'm not going to marry a whore!" Squall snarled. He turned around, his hair whipping around his face like an angry snake. "This is ridiculous. I'm not listening to this." He stormed out of the tent, his father hot on his heels.

"If you don't comply, I'll choose for you!" Squall picked up speed. Laguna stopped dogging Squall's heels and crossed his arms over his chest. "If I were you I'd choose the less of two evils!" He yelled to the retreating back of his son. His stubborn, hardheaded ass of a son.

0-0

Yuffie had gone to get Cloud some breakfast because apparently he was sleeping like a statue. She knew that she would have to wake him eventually, but with bags under his eyes that rivaled the size of hiking gear, she didn't have the heart to do it. He was still in her tent; lying in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position, probably face down in all of her womanly apparel. If he woke up with his mouth on her panties then hey, that was all his fault.

The young girl filed in line for the meal, running her hand idly through her brown tresses. She had forgotten to put it up and now played with it listlessly. She would've been worried about it if she hadn't seen people like Vincent and Riku prancing around with mermaid hair. Even at that moment she regretted ever cutting all of it off.

The line moved faster than usual. The cooks were grumpy today, something that didn't bode well for Yuffie. It was another standard that cooks never liked Yuffie Kisaragi. Well, Yuffie Kisaragi didn't appreciate cooks all that much either. A disturbing behind-the-counter documentary could be credited for that. For giving the cooks dirty looks, Yuffie was rewarded with what always seemed to be the nastiest of their generic foods.

"Made 'specially for yous," the first man said, shoving a plate of nearly green eggs into. Heh, green eggs. The most astonishing part of this was that it was actual food. Not processed fruits in a can; actual, edible food.

The rest of her food was given to her in a similar manner. A nice "here, bitch" and impact with her plate sent the rest of her food doing flips in the air. By the time she got back to Cloud, almost covered in orange juice and bacon, she was completely flabbergasted.

"Cloud!" She sung, crawling into her tent. "Strife, wake up! They _cooked_." He had shifted while she was gone and was lying on his stomach in his usual position. She placed her food on the small of his back and began nibbling at it. "Can't say it tastes that fantastic though…"

Cloud woke up after Yuffie spaced out and accidentally sent her fork into his spine. After that they had to eat the eggs from her blanket because he had sent the plate flying and the eggs were cannoned everywhere. There exchanged meaningless chatter, like, "What's _this_?" and "I think it's a sausage," "Can I have the juice?", and such.

Yuffie didn't mean to get so nostalgic, but eating with Cloud like this almost made it feel like she was back at home. She thought back to when she would eat breakfast in the comfort of her muggy room because her parents were fighting. She thought of how she'd sit in the treetops with little boys and play with action figures together.

"Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"What's your family like?"

Cloud stopped picking eggs from her blanket. His hand stilled and he looked away. Blonde bangs covered his eyes. "They're…fine."

"What're they-"

"They're **_fine_**."

Yuffie didn't press any more. She knew him well enough to know when he was saying a white lie. Was he doing it because it would mess up the atmosphere they were creating? Or did he really not want to talk about his past?

After they nibbled her blanket clean (nearly literally), they made their way down to High Noon, Yuffie's all-time favorite hang out. There was something about the big ugly toothpick that seemed to brighten her day up by a thousand watts.

They squeezed themselves into the hubbub of the crowd, surrounded by hair and smell everywhere. Cloud somehow found his way in front of her and she clung inconspicuously to the back of his shirt as he led her along quietly. She feared that if she let him go for a second she'd be suffocated by a gang of burly, strange men.

"Why do we always have to go up front?" Yuffie asked as Cloud led her.

"Because you're short."

It was nice how Cloud could make a trivial thing sound so insulting. "Thanks…" she muttered, not positive that she meant that at all. She supposed that he was trying to be considerate on some level, but did he have to say it so brusquely?

A new man stood at the forefront now. He was rather handsome, if not a little silly looking. His hair was styled much like Squall's, but longer. He was wearing thick brown pants, black boots, and a furry tan parka. He held a large stack of papers in his hands and was looking through them, appearing very preoccupied. Aside from the Adam's Family (Auron and Vincent), there were also other new males that she didn't recognize. Some looked friendlier than others, to say the most.

"Hello, everyone." The man waved at the crowd. A slim man to his left handed him a megaphone. "I am your new commanding officer, Laguna. I will be taking over my son's position."

Yuffie tilted her head to speak to Cloud. "Is he _really_ Leonhart's daddy? He's really nice."

Cloud's eyes were narrowed at something in the distance. "Yeah. Hard for me to believe too."

"I've noticed that there is a perceptible lack of unity among the soldiers," Laguna continued. "To me, this deters this army as a whole. You cannot fight together if you do not wholly trust each other. To compensate for that, I will be rearranging the partners a little."

"Rearranging?" Yuffie's Nervous Meter rose to a definite ten. She couldn't switch partners! Not after all she had gone through just to get Cloud to keep her secret. She didn't she could handle being separated from him and thrown into the arms of some other strange man. "Cloud, I don't want to be rearranged."

He looked down at her and smiled minutely, but something was troubling his eyes. Somehow she wanted more than that, but knew that there was no way he could grant her that wish. She hated herself for hating him for not doing more. In their situation, a smile was all he _could_ do.

"It will be fine."

Laguna's voice boomed over them all. "You will no longer be with a single partner, but in a team of three. The three of you will become brothers; you will become each other's conscience. By the end of this week, there will not be one shrapnel of information that you do not know about either of them. I want all of you to be so close that you can identify each other's _toes_ in a sea of a million toes."

Somewhere behind Laguna, Yuffie was able to pick out Squall. He was rolling his eyes. He also looked like he'd just been on a roller coaster one too many times. Yuffie knew that was impossible; albeit, she still wondered why he looked so pale.

"You have one day to say goodbye to your old partner. If you were great friends, pray that you have each other again. If you hated each other's guts, then plead that you don't get stuck within a hundred mile radius of them."

"A hundred miles?" Yuffie covered her mouth. "You think they'll actually separate us that far?" Yuffie didn't even know what a hundred miles looked like, but she was positive that it was a very long way off. One hundred miles was absolutely not a walking distance.

"No; a hundred miles and you'd be floating in the middle of the ocean," Cloud soothed her.

"Tomorrow morning you will come back and be assigned your teammates. That is all. You have the rest of the day to do as you please." Laguna switched off his megaphone and did a short salute. Then he disappeared behind a row of tents with the new bunch of men.

"Cloud?" Yuffie tugged at the sleeve of his shirt.

He looked down at his tiny partner. Her eyes were lost in a sea of a million different emotions. He sighed and let his hand fall on her shoulder. To any bystander it would look like a friendly gesture, but both of them knew it was meant to comfort. He quietly pulled her away and she let herself be taken to wherever he wanted. She knew that somehow she would always be the dominated one, but at that moment it didn't seem to matter much.

"Cloud?"

"Yes Yu?"

"I don't want to be apart from you."

Cloud swallowed and closed his eyes. What to do? Tell her that he wished the same? Or lie to her? Lying to her would be more beneficial to her, he knew. He had to teach her how to swim. He knew, deep down, that there was no way they'd be lucky enough to be together again. He knew that she was going to be on thin ice with two new men and she'd definitely be terrified. He knew that rejection was the only way to make her stronger.

The only problem was that he was the weak one. He couldn't turn her away, no matter how much he knew he should.

So he let her drown. Drown her in sweet, sweet ignorance.

"Me neither, Yu. Me neither."

0-0

A/N: Yes; I think that's a good place to end it. Next chapter, Yuffie and Cloud have some sharing time before they are separated. Also, Squall's search for a lady begins!


	9. Sharing is Caring

Warrior, I Am

Chapter 9: Sharing is Caring

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. I don't even own the title-I think the Care Bears do.

0-0

They sat by the lake that day. It was an hour before noon, and they had grabbed their lunch early. They took the bags (filled with food yet to be discovered and regurgitated) and sat at the shore. It was cold even as the sun beat down on their backs. Being in close proximity with the water did nothing to help that. Damp sand clung to every part of her lower body. She didn't complain (that much) though because she knew that it was most likely going to be the last, crappy-location moment with Cloud.

"What're we supposed to be doing, really?"

Cloud was digging in his bag with an odd look on his face. "'S'all this stuff in here that doesn't look edible…"

"Are you ignoring me?" Yuffie sighed, watching belatedly as Cloud sorted through the brown bag as if it were a magician's hat. "Hey, there's only so much stuff to look at. Are you ignoring me?"

"Why would I ignore you?" Cloud was holding a small pudding cup and sniffing it.

"Are you going to eat that?" Yuffie quipped, getting annoyed fast.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I hope it gives you indigestion," Yuffie condemned. She sighed. Darn Cloud. What was he doing? They were trying to enjoy their last moments and all he could do was stick his nose in some sludgy poo. Darn Cloud, darn the pudding, and darn Laguna for trying to separate them at all.

"What's you real name?"

"Indigestion," Yuffie snapped in response. Cloud stuck his finger in the pudding with a smile.

"Ah. I see the similarity to 'Yu'," he said as he sucked on his digit thoughtfully. Yuffie's eyes nearly became cross-eyed watching him do it. She wanted to slap herself for saying such a dumb thing and slap him for looking so devilishly sexy. What was worse, he probably wasn't intending it! She never, ever thought that seeing a man suck one of his fingers would produce such a pleasant reaction from her.

"What's your real name?"

"I'm not telling," Yuffie said, watching as he re-dipped his finger. She shot a dirty glance at the pudding cup, suddenly hating the dessert. _She _wanted to be the one that Cloud stuck his—

"Whoa!" Yuffie yelled, nearly throwing herself back. What was that about? Talk about a walk into NC-17! Yuffie shook her head and focused on anything else-trees, the water, the nippy breeze. Cloud looked on in amusement.

"You're so odd," Cloud murmured. "Guess your name isn't that important anyways…"

Yuffie was quick to agree with him. She didn't want him to know because she knew it would be another piece of evidence against her. "  
Don't ask personal questions like that."

He snorted. "I was asking for your _name_. I hardly think that's cause for blushing."

Yuffie harrumphed and pulled out a sandwich. "Well, then, do you have any siblings?"

"No."

"Cousins?"

"None."

"_Everyone_ has cousins," Yuffie said. "I think you're lying to me. Do you have parents?"

"I already told you that I didn't."

She peered closely at him as he ate his pudding without utensil assistance. "Nuh uh…don't think you told me that one."

"Sure?"

"I'm positive, Mr. Strife." She watched him closely and wondered how much he would decide to tell her-not that his lies were getting her that far to begin with. "So you have no family whatsoever?"

"Guess not."

"Argh!" Yuffie groaned, chucking a piece of bread crust at him. It whizzed by harmlessly, missing the target. "How do you **not** know these things? Are you a compulsive liar?"

"What is this, an interrogation room?" He put his pudding down. "I'll ask you a question, and then you can barrage me with yours."

"_Fine._"

Yuffie picked disinterestedly at her sandwich, slightly upset that she couldn't get any straight answers out of him. He was as elusive as ever, never letting her have one little peek into his personal life. She hoped that-if he let her-when she discovered the story of his life it wouldn't be terribly boring. She had waited so long for it that it would disappoint her if it was anything short of cataclysmic.

"How old are you?"

Yuffie talked around a mouth of bread and meat. "Seventeen."

Cloud's look became peculiar for a moment. It wasn't upset, but it wasn't exactly pleased either. Did he think she was too young? Heaven forbid, too _old_? "How old are you?" She countered.

"Twenty-one."

"Yikes," Yuffie said a little over a mutter. It was a juvenile thought, but somehow she felt decades away from him. She always had a belief that being a teen and being a twenty-something were always vastly different, and the idea stuck with her even now. It was ridiculous though, seeing that they were only really four years apart. She'd seen couples with at least ten years between them.

Despite her short time with Cloud, Yuffie's mind wandered over to her commander. How old was he? Would he make _that_ face too if he found out about her age? Would he even care about such a thing?

"Do you really have a sister?"

Yuffie jolted. She had forgotten all about that. Which was safer: simply saying yes, or lying her guts out? She couldn't even decide which would benefit her more.

"No," she said, probably damning herself. "I lied about that. Hey, I thought it was my turn anyways?"

"You wasted it by asking me my age." Cloud thought for a moment, his body still. "So you have no female siblings whatsoever?"

Yuffie's brows crinkled. "Well, I have one girl cousin. Her name's Rikku."

"What does she look like."

"She's blonde with green eyes," Yuffie said. Now _she _felt like she was being interrogated. Yuffie couldn't fathom why he would be so curious about such a thing. Of course, there was the option that maybe he was madly in love with her cousin. Maybe he was just sucking information out of her for the time being, and when he was done he'd toss her in the trash.

"That must've been you, then," Cloud said with finality.

"Huh? What did I do?"

"I visited your dad's dojo, once."

Yuffie's mouth made an 'O' in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes. I wanted to train."

"Why didn't you?"

Cloud heaved a soft sigh. He leaned back on the palms of his hands, and Yuffie worried that she was being too nosy. She wouldn't blame him if he called her out on her impudence. She certainly wouldn't have put up with her own questions.

"Location," Cloud stated. "I don't leave close by. I couldn't commute. I was too young." He glanced sideways at Yuffie. The wind blew his bangs across his clear, Adonis face, making his appearance even more startling. Yuffie had to wonder how many times Cloud was unaware that he looked like a modeling god. How many women had looked at him in longing and he hadn't even realized it? "I remember you, though."

Yuffie cringed. If he was 'too young', then she was even younger. She wasn't exactly putting her younger years on a rotating pedestal, to say the least. Even she had to admit that she was a terrible delinquent as a child. Making a myriad of babysitters cry because of her mayhem was not something she was particularly proud of.

"I remember a little girl that came in and kicked Mr. Kisaragi in the shins. She said, 'I don't ever want to be a ninja like you!' and she ran away."

Yuffie's face contorted. How **embarrassing**. Talk about a devil child. "That couldn't have been me," she vehemently denied. Maybe if Cloud's memory was blurry enough, she could pull off the lie.

Cloud's memory just so happened to be as clear as a diamond. "No, that was you. A mop of brown hair, crap-colored irises….I think you gave me a dirty look before you ran out, too."

So the cat was out of the bag. Now Cloud knew that Yuffie was a senile child who went around and kicked old men in the shins. She was hoping that little bit of information wasn't going to make it on his profile of her. And who said she had _crap-colored irises_!

"Well, I want to be a ninja now," Yuffie said, as if a renewed love for it would cover up her nasty past. It was true, to some extent. She often found herself wishing she hadn't been as lazy as she had. As she walked home during the late hours of the night, she regretted not learning to protect herself. In some other time line, when she wasn't idle and listless, she might've been known as the Great Ninja Yuffie.

Cloud 'hm'ed her an answer. She slouched her shoulders and decided not to pursue the subject further. Yuffie knew personally how well first impressions stuck. She just hoped he wasn't clinging too stubbornly to the young shin-killer that she used to be.

Yuffie folded her legs beneath her, Indian style. She tugged up her pant legs so that they were bunched up at the junction of her legs. Rocks coupled with dirt and sand ingrained themselves into her skin, making small and slightly painful indentations. She dug into her bag, then thought better of it. She unfolded her legs, took off her shoes and socks, and stretched her legs out before her, wiggling her small tan toes. Her trousers were still hitched up to her knees.

"Time is fleeting," Yuffie murmured. "Doesn't it feel that way?"

"Only if you don't make use of it," Cloud contradicted. "This is enough, isn't it?"

Yuffie jutted out her bottom lip and wiggled, waved, and bent her toes in every which way. "No," she said quietly. "It'll probably never be enough. My god, I don't even know if you have parents!" Yuffie rolled onto her knees, making the rocks bite back in spite. She leaned toward him, balanced on her hands and knees. "I don't know what your favorite color is! Or why you're here! I don't know **_anything_** about you! You're no better than a guy I met on the street."

Cloud leaned forward too so that his weight was propped on his hand. Yuffie liked to fancy that they'd both have a colorful multitude of rock-shaped bruises once they were done. "You know my name," he whispered. The hand not on the ground reached toward her. Yuffie almost believed he was going to cup her cheek, but he seemed to catch himself just in time. Instead he took a lock of her soft hair, rubbing it in between his thumb and index finger. "You don't want to know the real me, Yu. I'm not someone you want to be around for too long. I'm—" He saw the objection in Yuffie's eyes. "Just listen. I don't _want_ you to know me in the past. Just be with me **now**."

Yuffie, still holding out for Cloud's dark and explosive history, slowly nodded in consent. She knew she was lying to him in a way. She knew that if she found a file on him she'd be the nosy little twerp she was and gobble it all up. She also knew though that Cloud was a man who wanted his secrets to stay in the shadows. So even though she _was_ a nosy little twerp, she decided that maybe she would put that on hold if Cloud really didn't want her to know.

But still…

"I want to get to know you," Yuffie tried insistently, even if it would probably be the last time she ever would. She tentatively placed her hand on Cloud's. He shook his head at her and guiltily pulled his hand away.

"No, Yu." He gave her a small smile for her. He knew that she knew that she was the only one that received such a smile. It was a gesture reserved for only her. "If it were some other place, some other time…maybe. But not here."

"I don't understand," Yuffie pressed. She was trying to grasp something that he was dangling in front of her. She didn't understand. Why was it so hard to tell her? What was the worst that could happen? She was fine if his past was drab and boring. "Please, just tell me!"

"I don't want you to get hurt," Cloud said tangentially. When Yuffie was obvious gearing up for more arguments, his eyes turned cold. He stood up, taking his bag of food with him. "Kisaragi," he addressed her frigidly. He was looking down at her, and Yuffie suddenly felt like a small child. "I don't want to know you any more than I do."

Confusion painted her puppy-brown eyes. "But why?" What did him knowing about her have to do with her wanting to know about him? It didn't add up correctly.

His eyes were ice in comparison. "I don't want to be around you any more than I have to."

Yuffie quickly swapped the words around. "You don't…want me?"

She held her breath. Was Cloud really going to answer that? She was hoping he was going to take it as a rhetorical question but…

"No."

A slap in the face.

Yuffie abruptly stood up, her equilibrium feeling dangerously off balance. She couldn't look at him for some reason. Her hands shook as she bent over and picked up her bag. She collected her trash and wadded up her lunch. She pulled on her shoes and socks, her stomach growling inconspicuously. She had never really eaten anything.

"I'm—going—to throw—" She glanced around helplessly as if expecting someone to step in for her. When no one did so, Yuffie let out a low moan in frustration and began stomping away from Cloud without a backward glance. Her bag was crushed between her clenched fingers.

If he didn't want her around, then fine.

He wasn't ever going to see her again.

0-0

"What if I run away?" Squall asked bluntly. He was trapped in the enclosed space of a train cab with his stark-raving mad father, and jumping out of the ninety miles per hour vehicle wasn't looking too unfriendly at the moment. He had to keep the window all the way open just to keep his brain from boiling over.

Laguna chuckled. He was fascinating himself with an optical illusions book, and was currently enthralled by the old woman/ young lady picture. "Hee-hee! These things are genius…and running away would be useless. I gave your picture to every household in the city with a hefty sum on your head if they find you. You won't get out of there alive, what with all those subsidized old grannies chasing after you."

"Bastard," Squall growled under his breath. The scenery whizzed by at amazing speeds and he had to concentrate just to keep his bile down. "I know why you put me on this train," Squall added. "I thought you said I had a month to choose my own woman?"

"Well, you do. I just thought it would be good if your own search were to be interspersed with some choices of my own. Maybe you'll end up liking someone that I pick after all."

"Fuck you."

Laguna just smiled behind his book. With the speed the train was going at now, and the duration that Squall was staring out the window…he'd surely be putty in the girl's hands. The boy was so angry that he didn't even notice how sick he was making himself. Romancing a man on the verge of puking wasn't going to be hard for this particular woman.

"Oh, don't be so upset," Laguna consoled. "This girl really isn't all that bad. She had a history of…temper, but she's also very rich."

"Temper?" Squall sighed, rubbing his head. "Does that mean she's senile?"

Laguna giggled behind his book. Squall wanted to run a dagger through it. "Senile, maybe. Aggressive, definitely. I should've told you to steel-bar your trousers."

Squall looked considerably alarmed at this comment. He wasn't exactly jumping at the prospect of being raped by some womanly behemoth. Squall hoped his father wasn't sending him to Big Bertha. If he was….well, he could always file an annulment that made Laguna just some other man on the street to him.

"We're here," Laguna announced as the robotic voice over the intercom droned out the stop. Squall stood up, trying to mask the fact that he was a little queasy. He was praying that his clothes stayed on and that he came out of this relatively unharmed. His father was sending him to his doom.

"It's the big house at the top of the hill," Laguna pointed. The building was hard to miss. A mansion of extravagant proportions, it easy stood out among all the shabby little cottages and houses that everyone else occupied. Squall could easily see why they'd accept Laguna's offer. At this very moment he suspected all the old ladies to be in their houses, ready with chloroform and pitchforks if he decided to bolt.

Squall trailed behind his father without a fight, the thought of being captured by the locals the only thing that propelled him forward. On his way up the hill, all he could think about was murdering his father and how hideous this girl was going to be.

His father knocked on the door, and it sounded like a death toll to Squall. The door squeaked open. '_To hell with the locals,'_ Squall thought. '_I'll turn into Sephiroth and kill them all if it means getting out of this.'_

"I've been waiting for you."

Squall looked _up_ at the girl standing at the door. His stomach did a flip-flop. He felt like he was five seconds away from regurgitating his lunch. His father elbowed him painfully in the stomach and Squall managed to not smile, but cringe.

"Me…too."

0-0

Yuffie felt empty inside. Someone had come and shoveled her insides out. She was a gaping black hole that felt nothing, saw nothing. She didn't want to face any sort of reality, and she knew that the only thing that would make it right would be if Cloud apologized.

She was wandering around camp and Cloud was following her. She was completely aware of that. She was also painfully aware that he was not attempting to approach her or apologize in any way. But he was following her, which meant that he cared to some extent. He cared enough to watch over her.

How long would that last though?

Because she wasn't allowing herself to think about the blonde trailing behind her, Yuffie began to file away faces. As she passed groups of men she would glance at each one of them. After all, she was going to be stuck with two of them for what could be indefinitely. She especially made note of the ones she would like to avoid, so that if she were ever forced into a group with them, she could plead for a trade.

"Yu."

She pretended that was the wind. More faces were filed away. Kind ones. Dirty ones. Ones that gave her dirty looks in return.

"**Yu**."

"Didn't hear that," Yuffie muttered, spotting Sora. She quickly hurried past him. He was too busy trying to ignore his partner to even notice her.

A hand closed around her arm. It was warm on her bare skin and it make heart pound harder. She had nearly walked all the way around camp. She stilled and Cloud pulled her back closer to him. "Yu, please."

"You don't want me," Yuffie said mechanically.

Cloud's grip softened, and he stroked her arm in slow, meticulous circles. Yuffie shivered and tried hard not to move. "That's not necessarily true," Cloud explained. "That's the problem, Yu. I do want you." When he saw how Yuffie refused to look at him or listen, he pleaded "Yu, please. Just listen."

"Whatever," Yuffie snapped, pulling her arm away. "You can't always change your position when you don't like the outcome, Strife. You have to stick to your opinions, for once."

Cloud's back stiffened. He removed his hand from her arm. "Fine, I will." He stared straight into her brown eyes. "I'll tell you what I've been thinking for a while. You've changed me, Yu. In a matter of days. You did something that no one was able to do in years." Yuffie shook her head as he spoke. Cloud realized that he wasn't getting through, so did the one thing that he knew would work. He didn't even glance around before he took her in his arms. Yuffie tried to push back in alarm, but he didn't let her. Her arms folded easily against his chest and she could hear his heart beat.

"I'm not going to be the same when you leave," Cloud murmured into the top of her head.

Yuffie shook her head, her eyes blurring without any warning. She felt ridiculous. Here she was, with her big apology, and all she could do was sob like a baby.

"Don't say stuff like that," Yuffie murmured into his chest. She was soaking his shirt so much that Cloud felt like his chest was lactating. "I'm not even that important."

"You're more important than you'll ever know."

He put his hand under her chin. Her heart was sent into wild palpitations. Close up, his face was even more clear and smooth. His ocean eyes held no uncertainty or doubt. It was just Cloud.

And Cloud was bending his head toward hers.

0-0

_CRASH! BAM!_

"Nice to hear that they're getting along up there," Laguna said conversationally to the girl's father. The father, a stoutly man with a terrible wart near his nose, just nodded drowsily and continued to smoke on a long pipe. Laguna eyed him carefully and set down the cup of tea he was holding. He just hoped that Squall wasn't going too ballistic…

He tripped over a chair, sending him hurtling to the ground. Squall quickly righted himself and backed up against the wall, a ballpoint pen in hand. His hair was in disarray and his chest was heaving with effort. His heart was pounding crazily and he felt like he was in a horror movie.

_'Aggressive my ass,' _Squall thought lividly. Aggressive was definitely an understatement in this monster's case. Their first conversation began with him asking her name as politely as he could, and ended with her trying to tear his pants off. Her room was one damn frilly mess, and the only weapons of choice were either a pen or a Barbie doll.

"You don't like me?" the girl demanded as she picked up the many layers of her pink dress to saunter over to him better. Every fold of fat quivered like a waterbed as she descended on her prey.

"Like hell I don't!" Squall snarled, easily dodging the obese female. He jumped onto her bed, the nearest thing to the window. If he chanced a jump out of the three-story high building, the luckiest he would get is two broken legs. If he was unlucky…well then the locals could collect his splattered remains for a portion of the sum.

"If you don't sleep with me, my daddies friends will come and collect you," the girl threatened, pointing a sausage finger at him. She knew she couldn't capture the beautiful, agile creature trapped in her room, but she could force him into submission if he got in arm's reach of her. She always knew that threatening a man to death (literally) always did the trick too.

"Better left to them than you," Squall sneered coldly, inching toward the window. The girl's eyes widened as she realized what he was going to attempt to do.

"NO!" she howled, stopping Squall dead in his tracks with her screech. "You'll die!" She smiled at him and for a moment was lost in a girlish fantasy. "That would be such a shame to destroy a piece of art like you…"

"I'm not something to barter," Squall said coldly, angry with more than just her. This whole day he had been treated like nothing but a piece of meat. All he wanted was to be left alone in solitude. Was that so hard to understand? He didn't want to share a life with _anyone_.

"In my world you are," the girl said dominatingly. "Now sleep with me or my father will black bag you."

"No," Squall snapped. His foot was on the windowsill. "I'd rather tear out my eyes and splice my intestines up to my heart rather than sleep with a wretch like you," he iterated monotonously. He'd been saying it point blank over and over again how he didn't want her in the least.

"I'll pay you," the girl began to coax, changing plans. Men _always_ loved money, even more so than women and keeping their life. Sure, this man was a god sent from the heavens, but even gods had weaknesses. This man had to fold for _something_.

"I have all the money I need," Squall bit back at her. His hand wrapped around the frame of the window, gripping it tightly. The heights were reminding him of a roller coaster and it was making him a little faint.

The girl noticed his posture waver. '_Got you, my love,' _she thought devilishly. She inched toward a small cage in the corner or her gargantuan bedroom. Squall watched her carefully with a twisting stomach. The item she was opening up looked a lot like an animal cage.

"Say hello to Biddy…"

'_Shit.'_

It was a fucking snake.

Squall was not afraid of any sort of animal. Animals held no real significant threat to him. There were of course, exceptions. For example, having a fat whale put her lovely Biddy the Snake on the floor so it could slither up and put a strangle hold on his ankle—now that was something to worry about.

"Motherfu—" the snake was cutting off the circulation in his left leg. The damn thing had probably been trained to keep terrified men immobile.

And the behemoth loomed closer.

"Touch me with those sausages and I will haunt you forever," Squall warned as the fingers inched toward his shirt. He knew what she was longing to do and he was definitely against letting her.

The woman chuckled and licked her lips. Squall thought about making himself barf on her just to force her away. "Oh, I don't think being haunted by a cutie like you would be such a bad thing…"

Squall snorted. "I'd put a curse on every one of your fifty fat mounds."

That seemed to do it for some reason. After all, everyone knows a woman is always very sensitive about her weight.

"Screw you!" She screeched, stomping to her door. "I hope they chop you up good!" She was referring to her father's assassins, he assumed. She reached to open her door up, but it swung open before she had the chance to wrap her grubby fingers around the handle.

Laguna stood in the doorway. Squall had never been so relieved to see the bastardly old fart in his life.

"Squall," he sung. "Sorry to cut your time short, but you need to be back at camp. You have to meet your new teammates!" He smiled genially at the girl. "Ms. Cordelia, I hope to see you again soon. I'm sure my son had a wonderful time courting you."

"I never want to see his face again!" she screeched. She grabbed her snake by the tail and in uncoiled from his leg without a fight. Squall couldn't help but pity the animal. It was dragged back into its cage as Squall stormed by her with a grimace.

"Me too," he said, for the second time that day.

0-0

His forehead was resting against hers. She could feel his breath on her lips. Her eyelids were fluttering opened and closed. His chest was firm and he smelled so damn _good_.

The first time Cloud's lips touched hers, it was quick and barely noticeable. The second time he seemed to miss the target and laid a quick peck on her chin. The third time though was just right.

When Cloud had grabbed her shoulder, they had been circulating around the backs of the larger tents. The larger tents belonged to the soldiers of higher rank, such as Vincent and Laguna. They towered over the normal tents, effectively hiding Cloud and Yuffie from view. They were completely in their own world, doing something that was completely forbidden.

"Kiss me again," Yuffie whispered. She felt giddy. A tingling sensation was traveling up and down her body, from the top of her head down to the tips of her toes. Her hands were balled into Cloud's skintight black shirt, holding him steadfastly against her. His hands rested casually on her waist.

He chuckled at her request. "How am I going to get on without you here…" he muttered before complying. He could feel the young girl smiling against his lips. The kisses weren't long or passionate, but short and chaste. They were the first ones that Cloud had ever experienced. He wasn't sure if it was the same for Yuffie. She probably didn't realize it, but those few butterfly kisses meant the world to him.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Yuffie muttered after what felt like a million minute kisses. It wasn't that she wasn't enjoying it. Hell, she was _loving_ it. She was aware of time constraints though, and sooner or later they would be assigned to a new group. She also did not want to be caught in the arms of "another man", so to speak. She didn't care any more if they thought she was a homosexual, but she didn't want to put Cloud in that situation too.

Why didn't she think about that before? She didn't know. She wasn't thinking because it would ruin the moment. Being so close to Cloud intoxicated her too much to think anyways. She felt drugged.

"You're right," Cloud murmured against her lips. He kissed her once, then on her forehead. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, crushing her against his chest. He lovingly rubbed his hands up and down her back.

"Do you think we're fickle?"

"Fickle?" Cloud asked.

Yuffie nodded. "Yes; we've only known each other for almost two weeks and we're sneaking off to kiss."

Cloud sighed. "I suppose." He pressed his lips against the top of her head. "But that's life. Life **_is_** fickle. To go without acting ridiculous once in a while is to not experience life at all."

"You're profound," Yuffie commented with a smile.

"It's the effect of being around you," Cloud explained.

Suddenly there were footsteps. Yuffie's brain ping-ponged in alarm. They quickly disengaged themselves from one another, standing the proper distance away from one another. Even though they were at a safe distance though, they both looked too rigid and uncomfortable to be innocent.

The soft padding on the grass grew closer. Yuffie damned herself for not detaching herself sooner. They were creeping around behind the commander's tent and this did not look good at all.

"Kisaragi."

Yuffie wanted to die.

It was Squall.

"Yes, sir?" Yuffie answered meekly, too racked up with guilt to even glance at Cloud. She felt that if she even looked at him for a second Squall would know immediately what they had been doing. She felt like a half-naked teenager caught in the act of having sex with some foreign boy by her parents.

"I've been looking for you."

"Me?" She wanted to cower behind Cloud. Even though she couldn't look at him, she could tell that his fists were slowly clenching. He was not ready to relinquish this girl over to the commander just yet.

"Yes, you." Squall sighed, running his hands through his hair, which looked peculiarly in disarray. He brought his hands behind his back in formal military style, his voice monotone.

"You are one of my partners."

Yuffie gasped.

'_Uh oh…'_

0-0

A/N: I am very tired. Sports are brutal. I write when I can.

Squall and Laguna are such a laugh—at least I think so. And I love Squall. I think he's adorable. I'm sorry if any of you think I'm torturing him with big, scary ladies because I favor Cloud. I do not favor one over the other. I love both of them and they are both very scrumptious.

I assume all of you are smart enough to know that this whole story is not to be taken seriously. A lot of these things couldn't happen. Squall's harrowing episode with Ms. Cordelia is not nearly as realistic (or important) as Cloud and Yuffie's kiss. And yes, I know that a snake probably does not do those things. I don't care though. It's my story!

I actually had to go back to read some old Yuffie/Squall fanfictions because I began to forget about how they interacted. If you have written a Yuffie/Squall fanfic, I have probably read it. I'm a terrible reviewer in that I don't review. I know. But I do read them!

For those of you that love Cloud/Yuffie interactions…I'm sorry, but you're going to have to hold out for those. They won't nearly be as frequent as they were in the past.

Um…that's it!

Review!


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